And You’ll Never Walk Alone…

So….
it’s been nearly a week….
that has FLOWN by….
Yikes!!

So I’ve still not told anyone,  but it’s got me thinking you know, about the fact that I’m gonna be a single mum, and to be honest I’m really ok with it.
You see, when The Dad and I first started, well whatever it was we had, he told me he didn’t want a child at the moment, that he couldn’t honestly tell me how much he didn’t want that, which is fine he was honest and upfront about it, and I went on the Pill because that worked!!
So we were relativley careful, but sometimes you don’t see that the condom is defective in the heat of the moment, and now, well, here I am,
5w 3d pregnant, and over the freakin’ moon about it might I add BUT The Dad is not going to be. Now this is where I’m going to sound like a royal bitch and I’m fine with that BUT, I’m only telling The Dad that I’m pregnant because I feel obligated to give him one chance at being a father to Bubble.
One chance is ALL he is getting. It’s his decision, whatever he chooses I’m fine with. I honestly am. I don’t want to pressure him in to something he doesn’t want to do, after all, I’m not going to miss out on all those special and magical moments if he’s not there.
That’s his lookout.
But IF he does want to plat Daddy,
then there are some ground rules.
I am NOT going to chase him to be a father
I am NOT going to be reminding him on for all those special things. He’s the father, if it’s special he should remember by himself.
Simples.
I have decided that Bubble will have my surname and that he won’t be on the birth certificate, quite frankly, I’m not having him tie me to this shit-hole town…
but I won’t be telling him he’s not on the birth certificate. However, I do have photos of him saved, so that if Bubble ever asks, that I can show it what it’s Dad looked like. I’m not a complete bitch….
I’m not gonna stop him being a Dad. I’m not gonna stop Bubble from seeing him if he wants be involved, what I am doing is making sure that my Bubble is protected every which way I can, because as lovely as he is, I really can’t see him being around in 5 years time for Bubble.

As for why I haven’t told him?
He’s got loose lips. When we first started together, we said we’d keep it quiet but
he told a lad at his work, who spilt the beans within minutes of knowing, to around 1/10 of the staff (about 40 people!!) then week later, he got drunk with a mate from work who is in another dept, and they got talking about me and The Dad told him that I was “bang tidy and a blazin’ shag!!”
Which is all very nice and all, BUT
it’s a bit embarassing when you live in a small town.
So…
he cant be trusted to keep anything quiet. I honestly want to tell him now so I can get his medical backgrounds and stuff for the midwife on Thursday, but if I do that it’ll be round town by Monday, and I ain’t told Ma yet,so that’s out the window.
I thinks I’ll get  my scan date and I’ll tell him the week before the scan because by then I’ll probably be nearing 12 weeks, and then I’ll be getting ready to tell work. Have also decided that I am going to take one holiday in April,
and then use ALL my holidays in August, in the run up to my maternity leave. 3 weeks in August might be difficult to wangle, but I’m gonna argue that I’ll be big, hot and miserable by that stage, so it be to their advantadge.
So, I only have like 5 and half months left at work before a year off….WITH MY BABY 🙂
I’m going the council today to tell them I’m pregnant too. Honestly, there’s not enough room here for Mum, Me, Bubble and two dogs.
So the sooner they know, the sooner I get made a priority, the sooner I get outta here, the sooner Bubble gets it’s own nursery.
Was looking at the stuff I’m gonna have to get, it’s totally managable!!
I also will have to go to the Jobcentre (YUCK!!!) and find out what to apply for and stuff, but that can hold off until I’ve told work and found out what the deal is with Maternity Pay and such.
Looks like I’m gonna be a busy ole bee don’t it, and I  wouldn’t change ANY of it for the world.