04/06/2009

So, I’m the horrible person in all this. The row has carried over from last night to this morning because she wanted to take my bankcard so we could do the weekly transfer, I said to her but I was planning on going out today, for a change of scenery so I’ll do it, to which I get “the banks only round the corner, I’ll do it.” Yeah, but I was planning on going on today for a bit so if you take my card I’ll be stuck in the house again. I’m so fed up of this, I’m actually crying as I type becasue it’s all starting to get to me. I never thought I’d put myself in such a stupid situation after what he did to me but here I am, this is even worse than being with him, at least then death was a possible escape. Yeah I was scared but now I am miserable, which is worse., and to top it all off my Nan is coming down today, so I’ll have a week off hearing her tell Elle how wonderful she is.  She rang just because she wanted to talk and I told her I was pissed off and angry.  I also told her why, and surprise surprise she’s made me the bad guy, well fine I don’t care. I’m going to go get some rental lists today and start trying to find somewhere, for the first week of May, I can’t take living with her for much longer and at least if I get it sorted within the next couple of weeks then it’s only a fortnight of living with her in this hell and then I can tell her to fuck off.