A job, a conversation and a night out

I got a job!!!!!!!

I finally went to a temp agency out here. The same day I filled out the paperwork they offered me a long term temp job and the company has the option to hire me at the end of it (late February). Lets hope they keep me cuz it’s a good job and it’s for the county.

It’s funny that I ended up at the job I’m at. I work about 15 minutes from where M lives. He came by Monday and had lunch with me. It was really just an excuse for us to get together and talk. We’ve both come to the conclusion that we miss each other. For the first 3 1/2 months I was here we talked everyday for a couple hours. Now we talk for about 15 minutes. It’s taking some getting use to.

When he came for lunch Monday, we sat outside and talked the entire time. After he left, the girls I work with were asking about him. I described him in the best way I could “He’s one of my best friends”.

I went to lunch Thursday with F, she’s close to my age and married. She was asking about M, how we met, how long we’ve been friends. When she realized he lives so close to work she said that I should just stay with him during the week so I don’t have to deal with traffic (I live 32 miles from where I work and LA traffic sucks). I just laughed and said that wasn’t an option.

F – Why not?
Me – He doesn’t have an extra room
F – So sleep on the couch
Me – I’ve slept on his couch twice and it’s pretty comfy but I couldn’t do it 4 nights a week.
F – It would be better than sitting in traffic for 2 hours every day.
Me – His girlfriend would never allow it.
F – Oh. Does she not like you?
Me – I’m not sure. We just kind of deal with each other because of him.

F explained that our roles are kinda reversed. Her husbands best friend is female, so she had an idea of what was going on.

Me – Does it bother you?
F – It did at first. At the time we were just dating. It drove me crazy that he had another woman calling, that he would talk to about his problem, that knew him about as well as I did. Can the 2 of you tell what each other is thinking?
Me – Usually
F – See, it was hard for me to accept that.
Me – How did you?
F – We fought about it a lot. It finally came down to him telling me that he wasn’t going to lose his best friend but he didn’t want to lose me either. He didn’t want to have to choose. So I just grew up and accepted it.
Me – I can only hope R does that.
F – It took me a while so give her some time.
Me – It’s been about 2 years.
F – But out of those 2 years you’ve been close for?
Me – A year, give or take
F – And you’ve been in Cali?
Me – About 4 months.
F – It’s still new and in her face. Give her more time, she may come around.
Me – And if she doesn’t?
F – Then you find a way to make it work or you cut your losses.
Me – If anyone will have to do that, it’s me.
F – Why?
Me – She’s gonna win if it comes down to that. I’ve already learned that. (I told her about the first time I was out here, some things that have happened since I’ve been here)
F – My husband goes out with her sometimes and I’ll stay home. I just came to the realization that he comes home to me. Who cares if they go to the movies or meet some friends for drinks? He still comes home to me. She probably isn’t ready to look at it that way.

It felt good to hear this from someone in a similar situation. To get an idea about how the person on the other side of this might see it. Cuz it sucks not to be able to talk to one of my best friends on the weekends or when I have something to tell him. I have a feeling this conversation is gonna stick with me for a while.

And, of course, after this whole conversation I get back to my desk and M calls to ask what my plans were for Saturday. R’s parents were in town and she went out with them. So we got together yesterday and went to a get together a bunch of people were having out here. Needless to say, I spent yet another night on his couch.

I really need to stop doing that.