11/6/03

So I did overreact with Matt. He is just fine. His hard drive crashed so everything was wipped out and it took him a while to get it fixed. I talked to him yesterday and today 🙂

I admitted something to myself today. I still have feelings for him. Strong feelings, lots of feelings, feelings I should not have since he has a girlfriend. Not a good thing.

I’m still not sure what to do about it.

My cousin Matt called me today.

He had been living in Florida but decided he wanted to move back up to Michigan. I was helping him look for a job and he said he could move in with his friend.

Well he told me today that everything fell through but he did move. When he told me where he was living I almost fainted. California. He lives 30 minutes from my friend Matt…yes the one mentioned above!

Now my cousin wants me to come visit and see if I like it out there because he is looking for a roommate and would like it to be me. So I’m planning to go visit in January or February (that’s the soonest I can make it) and if I like the area I might be moving 🙂

I need a change. Something has to give. I hate the winters here. My depression hits me hard during the winter months. The snow, ice, it’s dark all the damn time. To say I’m seriously considering this is an understatement.

After I got off the phone with my cousin, my friend Matt called wanting to chat. I told him my cousin had moved to Simi Valley and wanted me to come visit, possibly move there. He, of course, was all for it.

He wants to see me when I go out there. He wants to show me around, go out to dinner. I know we would run into each other eventually, we have a lot of the same friends that I would want to visit with…I think I would be fine with that. It’s the one-on-one time that I couldn’t handle. I would never dream of being the other woman, I’ve had someone cheat on me before, but the pain that it would cause me to be that near him may not be worth it.

I don’t know. Maybe in 2-3 months I’ll feel differently.

We had a blast in Chicago!!

The hotel we stayed in was gorgeous! Right on Michigan Ave, great view. We even had a mini-bar! We didn’t touch anything…$3 for a can of coke, I doubt it…but we did find one thing funny. They had a basket on top of the fridge with cookies and snacks in it. It also had a thin, plastic box mixed in. So I picked it up to look at it more closely. It said it was an ‘Intimacy Kit’. In it was 2 condoms, KY Jelly and some personal wet wipes. I couldn’t believe it. Talk about a full service hotel!!!

Before we left for the night Sarah made me open the present that Bec, Erin and her had gotten me. It consisted of 3 penis straws, a light up penis pen, 4 condoms (one of them is black and studded!!) and pink fuzzy handcuffs.

Chicago style pizza for dinner then bar hopping on Clark. Our last stop was a bar called ‘The Baton’. We went on the recommendation of another bartender and I’m glad we did. It was female impersonaters and it was so much fun! We even sat at the bar and chatted with a couple of them after the show. Good stuff.

I was overserved that night…by a large amount. Got back to the hotel around 3, the cab ride is kind of a blur. Then decided that I need to call some people…which is always a good idea. So the drunk dials start. Ryan, Cory, Becky, Cayce, Erin, Michael, I even called Jeff. I made a complete ass of myself, at least that’s what I’ve been told, but they all laughed.

This Sunday is my actual birthday and I will be at the OAR show. I’m so excited!!!

{{{Hugz}}}
PG