A Year Later

So it’s been a year since my last post…  Oops.
Recap.
December of 2008 I met the greatest guy ever.  We hit it off really well.  In February, he told me that he still thought of his ex girlfriend back home.  (In Kenya)  I was hurt, but we didn’t break up.  Until two weeks later.  She told him that she was pregnant.  I was devastated.  Sadly, and with lack of strength on my part, we still hooked up every once in a while.  In April, just after Easter, I was late.  I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.  I had to tell him.  I went to his place and we started watching a movie.  He started kissing me and I said I couldn’t and I started to cry.  I told him I was pregnant.  Then he told me that his ex girlfriend was lying and she wasn’t actually pregnant.  She was just mad because he was dating someone else.  Honestly, that was a relief, that she lied, but I was still pregnant.  We decided to keep him.  And we became close again, but I still never met any of his friends and it felt like to me that he was ashamed of the situation.  November I moved in with my parents in a different city.  Leaving was hard and got harder when he started telling me he missed me.  A lot harder.  I wasn’t prepared for that.  He got a car and he started visiting often and it seemed like he really cared.  We talked everyday and the due date was getting very close.  We were due December 25th.  He spent Christmas with my family and I and we kept getting closer.  December 31 I was induced.  He drove down and I was in the hospital for 5 days.  2 days of labor and 3 days post c section.  He was there the whole time.  Holding my hand, telling me everything would be okay.  He saw me through what was probably the worst days ever – appearance wise lol – and he stuck around without a single thought.  January  2nd, our son was born and we were both so happy.  It almost seemed like things were getting really good between us.  He’s visited a couple times since he was born and we still talk everyday.  I just found out that he still talks to his ex.  And it just seems like he can tell me all he wants that he misses me so much – and he does pretty much everyday – but knowing that he still talks to her after he told me he would never speak to her again, kind of really hurt. 
This is why i hate facebook.  She commented on a post he made about being tired and she said ‘i know something that can make you relax, can i remind you’ .  we all know what that means.  And it hurts that she would say something like that knowing he has a son with someone else.  It makes me think he’s playing me because of our son and is secretly tell her too that he misses her so much.  I don’t want any kind of relationship like that because of our son.  If he doesn’t care for me, then so be it.  Don’t pretend to care for me because of our son.  We can be civil to each other because of our son, but don’t pretend to have a relationship with me when you don’t really care. 
The saddest part of all this is, is that I still love him.