Letter from David: 25th June
Hello beautiful!
As I start typing this we have just pulled out of Grand Junction station, and very soon we will be crossing the border into Utah. Got the phone on the charger so I can listen to some music later in the night and the sun is sitting fairly low right now, and will be shining in my window really soon. Plus, as I start typing it is 1pm NZ time on Sunday, I am thinking of you and wondering what you’re up to since there is like no reception at all on this train.
The geology has been absolutely amazing, and I can only imagine what the Grand Canyon can look like, because what I have seen so far has been extremely spectacular. We have been going 8-9 hours now and when we started climbing about 30 minutes into the journey it has been amazing since. I’ve finally found something this camera can’t do, take good pictures of these rocks! Maybe it is because we are so far away, maybe it’s the light in that it is really hazy out here and the windows of the train probably don’t flatter it too much either but calling it amazing is quite an understatement. The sparse trees as well are just something but the country is just so sparse, you go hours between towns. Now I wonder what it all looks like flying over this country. I wonder if I will ever be back here in my life? I hope I can and am able to.
Since I have no internet and have been biding my time all morning its time to send you a nice long email about any topic I get onto in my chain of thought. So where to start? I enjoyed talking to you last night, on viber and on skype. Last night was special to me in that the feelings I was feeling for you were so extremely strong but so right. Yes I knew before how I felt about you but last night was something else! Ooh tunnel, chugging on through that 🙂 Its definitely the strongest that I have felt for you ever, but I am getting ready to come home now and just get back into normal life, and that includes having you back in person! I really am missing your hugs, cuddles and kisses and just talking and snuggling with you. On the end of the phone isn’t the same, but it is better than having nothing at all. Next Saturday morning is going to be so special for the both of us, and somewhat unusually for me I have absolutely no idea how I am going to react, what I am going to do and to be honest I don’t really care. I’ll have you back!!!
Its time like this when for me I really discover how I feel about something. I wonder if I should go so far and say you make me mad, but you really have become such a huge part of my life and such a support which makes up the sum of me. By my own admission I wouldn’t say I need much, I’m not terribly demanding (I think!) but you have shown me things which I never knew I needed, until I met you. To have your unconditional support, trust and love is something I don’t think I could live without now. I can’t really imagine if we were to break up, you strike me as something permanent and something that I truly want to make permanent. How we existed separately for so long and only got together relatively recently and the way that things have grown since then indicates to me we’ve got something special, and we can’t stop this thing we’ve started!
I love everything about you. We all have our quirks and our differences and there are some that annoy me a tiny bit but they are a part of who you are and that comes as part of the package. I can’t ask you to stop and then not expect to change anything myself in return. I know we can strike a balance and exist together because those things in no way dampen the strength of the rest of our relationship and how we would both like to be together. I have found a supremely caring girl who wants to do so much for everyone else and someone who has opened her heart for me, and has been able to get me to open up to her and really open my heart back in return. I know I keep things close to me, and how I find this sort of thing talking about my feelings challenging but I know I could say anything and you’ll accept it, whether it be shit fuck fuck shit or that you are I hope the person I can get to know even more and be the one I grow old with.
Its rather strange the concept of talking about my feelings, sitting on a train traveling through the Colorado countryside and thinking of the ways you make me feel even when I am so far away from you. The impact you have had on my life I think can only be described as somewhat incredible. I know people notice a difference, whether it be that I am more outward looking, happier or just more confident within myself. You truly are now one of my strengths and I am so happy we have come to be.
I like thinking about the challenges we have ahead of us and ones I hopefully am able to face with you. Getting into the housing market and pooling our money together and working extra hours and saving as much as can. Keeping our relationship strong, special nights together, surprises, laughs and memories. Reaching milestones of being officially together and lastly settling down and adding to the two of us 🙂 I like thinking about this kind of stuff, its assuring to me to know that I want to face all this with you and know that whatever happens we’ll be fine on the other side. Oh you make me smile 😀
As much as I like talking about all this in words, it would be so much nicer to say all those words to you having you in my presence just so I can see your reactions and see how you think and where the conversation may just go from there. You are so intelligent and whenever we talk there is always something to talk about and its never been any different. I’m confident this will be the last holiday I go on on my own, I think you’ll be with me from here on in. Work obviously is no holiday, but I am looking forward to taking a break with you in November, planning things together and then being able to enjoy it together. I wonder what you’re thinking and what it is in me you really treasure. I’d rather tell y
ou that in person and I look forward to talking with you about that soon 🙂
I love you so much and you really have just been solely on my mind for the last hour and 15 minutes. I can’t wait to be back with you now, though I will definitely enjoy San Francisco first!
With love,
David