unlogical

 

 

if I breathe in the way shadows
kissed the illusion of day
I’d find
your body unfiltered against
the spaces,
night would be drunk
laughing
at the segregation of lighted houses –
you would tip me,
tracing bruises as if they were
merit badges
asking me,
where I came by clumsiness
and telling me there were moments when
all you wanted to do
was catch me as I fell –
having known
I had fallen

sometimes I choke myself
on the smoky illusions and fun house
mirrors,
as my shape contorted,
I was no acrobat –
my body lithe
with lines engraved through

the years,
time said images should be svelte
I regurgitated intent
losing the shape of self in the way

you
made me move

 

 

the wall folds, tears dry

seducing bad girl facades,

this is about me and you and the looks

you give me

before I begin the process

of self doubt,

calling me your beautiful queen

as I lay without eyes lined

or lips colored

and I love how you love and live

holding the things you told me

that I locked against my box –

eyes reaped

what was sowed,

as you tattooed your past

across your chest,

sins apparent

glarin

g at the world

as if you said,

fuck off and they listened

like I did, swallowing the bruises

like shots of liquor

I stood 

on broken shards of self-doubt

and traced the way night
looked against my scars
before dousing

sentiment with brick walls
and watching the way I crumbled
against who
I wanted to be with you
imperfect circles

where you would breath
and I would step
closer
closer
until my lips were inches
from the way we curved around each other 

and I knew that I could be

the one

who mattered

in a world where everything shimmered gray

 

I told you my eyes could change color

and how sometimes

it took me moments before forming

a thought,

before knowing

the exact way

I wanted to tell you how I felt

when I felt you and how you felt when

you let yourself feel me,

and if you let,

I could be the rainbow in worlds

that saw only black

and white,

I could be

the rain in arid deserts<span style="fon

t-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"”>

or the sun on a mountain’s avalanche –

I could be the love you felt

while feeling mine

for you