reaching

There is a heart inside every body, mine continues to keep pace with electronics, "medtronics" assuring the lows and highs stay within a range of normal – but one can’t help but wonder why be normal? Why try to find the way out, when the way seems to stay in. To find puzzle pieces when things have worked just fine without them.

We say, "we’re too young" but why then, do we use our age as a crutch. Why do things happen to people regardless of the years on this planet? There is a new appreciation for life, I believe that I have said that before. Now though, I don’t hold the tongue, I don’t bite it until it bleeds but there is no anger or meanness that permeates the air. Feelings are given without second thoughts, smiles genuine across my lips and I laugh at the way a single pill can give me bruises the size of earth.

But I am alive, my health in near perfect conditions and I wake each morning grateful.

It’s a humbling moment when you see death knock at your door, when you look over at your two children with tears in your eyes wondering if you will see them graduate, marry, have babies and live their life to the fullest. It’s a humbling moment when you see your family with fear in their eyes, a mother watching her daughter attached to monitors to make sure there are no more "pauses" of life.

The clichéd phrase that is thrown at you whenever you have something happen holds true. Everything for a reason. There is and what needs to be realized, needs to be accepted is that we may never ever know the reason for the "everything". It comes with time, with the living of life. It comes with love, whether reciprocated or not.