god-fearing

 
 
there is a injustice
lacing
through the blood to life
and we travel
roads
focused on lives
we want,
something on the horizon
beckoning like hand’s
of god,
step-stuttering,
faltering
as straight paths bend
 
some days,
there are no answers
to questions
and no questions to ask
as fatigue constricts
forces
of humanity
and I lay rocking
unshed tears
on well worn pillowcases
and I have talks
with god
without ever asking
why,
why,
why me
not sure I am ready
to know the truth
 
sunshine
shows beneath shadows
pivotal truth
forces the breath
from my
lungs
and I gasp
with the ache of
misdirection,
soul-lined light shuffles
from beneath
covers
as I drag reality
forefront,
there is a bustle of those
not knowing,
not looking,
living lives
in fast lanes and all
I want to do
is yell,
slow down and wait
for me
 
visions of bodies
eyes glow
with
miracles,
as mind over matter mantras
play on repeat –
and I shove,
give,
need and want
knowing
I can live through life
through unexpected
moments
that leave me
shell-shocked,
some days the little girl
I am
skips with a smile
on her face
and others,
the tears flow like rivers
 
and if for a second
I cry for you,
for me,
for everything that is
and was
I will stand straight
back ridged
as hands clench
in fists
of truth –
the walls know my secrets
the bed, my dreams
and inside
my heart
there is unwavering love,
determination
and strength
crossing thresholds
never imagined
and I breathe in truth
breath in
love