beneath

I stacked myself
like
building blocks,
heavy based pieces on bottom,
light and delicate
set
on the top
of life,
and I wonder if I were to play
the lotto,
watch those powerball numbers
would luck grace me
prettily
or dally before my eyes
as I become the voyeur
again
but
there are no hardships
in breathing –
robotic
pieces pump heart
full of love
and I live
the only way I know how,
aware
of turned backs
and snarling lips,
uncultured
images carved on walls
spitting disdain
at naivety
as if I lived in times
not present,
but
I’ve learned to live in me
imperfect exterior
shown beauty
in the sanction of heart,
upgraded
models
pinned into the folds
of now,
and I reiterate
and repeat,
living,
living,
loving –
the difference
of a floating vowel
when to me
they are
the same,
like chances had again,
the pacing of time
the test
of elements
and maybe, just maybe
I stacked myself
strong
stacked myself on
foundations
uncrumbled
believing in simplicity –
I breathe in
and press hand to heart,
a lump
po

cketwatch size
on my freckled chest
feeling
rhythmic beats
of pumping blood
as I settled
into the core of human,
into the strength
and love