I forgot?

Ah. Wonderful day. Never thought I’d be able to repress my primal urge to talk back to my superiors. Smiling sheepishly does the trick– shows people you’re polite, and only the sharpest eye can find the hint of sarcasm if any. Why am I so…hateful? 

Actually, I’ve learned to like that quality. I think it’s cute, for the lack of a better word. I used to think my personality is bland. Too nice, too forgiving, too peaceful, too uncompetitive. But now, I’ve improved. …Well, objectively, more like worsened, no? I have a weird knack for evil, silly self. 

Well, ramblings aside, yes. The title. 

After ignoring my phone for a while, I finally picked it up with the sole intention of setting my alarm clock for tomorrow. Extension clinical duty. Because my hair was slightly messed up and my instructor thoughtfully sanctioned me. … Where was I.

Yes, the phone. I noticed something odd– a message. For me it is. I hate communicating through SMS, so no one bothers me in return. Well, it was from Luther.

"Let’s go do stuff tomorrow for my birthday," or something like that.

I was like, ‘what..?’  I laughed, then boasted at Mom that I forgot about my best friend’s birthday. It’s because I used to be more excited than him about it. Now I’m all ‘mature’ and stuff? Please. Just because I forgot doesn’t mean I don’t care. Well maybe I care less now. Ah, who can say. It’s just the Earth completing its orbit around the sun again from the nth time you are born. What am I saying.

Luther and I… How do I put this? Recently, we’ve spoken and have shared rather deep thoughts. He confessed stuff to me that he kept for some time– about the tragedy between him and his love interest. I felt sorry for him, and I really appreciate his openness. I felt almost proud for being the only one he told about it; felt like I was trustworthy and highly thought of.

—

I’m sorry. I got sidetracked. I’ve been Googling stuff. Literally spent an hour, leaving the entry unfinished and hanging. Oh, conflicting verb tenses. Or are these adjectives? Adverbs? Why am I so bothered. *headdesk*. Better question: Why am I apologizing to myself? No, really. I say sorry to myself, and to the inanimate objects I have wronged, given they have some sentimental value.

Now I’m just babbling randomly because I’m so freaking sleepy. The stuff I Googled; I thought I’d learn a lot by reading lots of stuff in one sitting. My fault– I have poor memory. I’ll forget what sarcoidosis, Miller-Fisher, Munchauser whatchamacallit, and the rest that I’ve learned today by the time I wake up.

My symptoms indicate House toxicity– watching too many episodes of said TV series at a time. That’s it. Resisting urge to type random thoughts. I’m sleeping. Please pray that I get to eat cake tomorrow. Ciaoooo.