Jill Scott- My love
This song was sent ot me in a text from an anonymous texter. well she isnt really anonymous but her number was not saved in my phone. I finally got up the courage to erase her number and since she changed it i hadnt memorized the number. as soon as she texted it i text back asking who it was but had an idea. she is really the only one who send mes songs when a mood hits or so. But just to be sure I checked the song and couldnt help but to laugh… i laughed because yet again she is sending a message of something. i actually cannot say i know what because that was how she was feeling in that moment but i am sure if I were to call her today (3 days later), that her intentions would be much different. she might even recant what the meaning od her texting me to listen to that song really means… its crazy… i dont think she is happy… i dont think she wasnt to be with me but i dont think she knows what she wants. i hear stories, but i dont believe any of them even though they all sound all to familiar of how she treated me when we were together. I know what i meant to her. I know how i made her feel… that’s all i need to hold onto in terms of my memories of our relationship. I have always agreed that I will never have a relationship like i had with felisha. I will never feel as passionate and as strongly as I did with her. It was an amazing experience. But I also know that I will never know pain distrust and heart ache the way i did with her. emotionally i was not ready for that rollercoaster and niether was she. i often have to remind myself of how young we were. I am much older and much wiser now and had Felisha and had our relationship now I honestly dont know how it would turn out. I am a much better person for being in that relationship with her. much more comfortable about who i am and what i want and who i want it from.
I think what caught me off guard was the overall tone of the song. had she sent this to me6 months ago i probably would have agreed with her but i can honestly say that, it really took me getting over Felisha to see what I have with Mackenzie. it took a long time but i am there. and it feels really good. I still feel sad that Felisha would feel the need to send me something like this. i can only imagine which parts she really means… but i am not up for guessing games… she needs to be up front and not so passive agressive… she probably doesnt even mean any of the words of the song anymore… her feelings last so short…
I included the lyrics below. I put in bold what I think she means… but i doubt it… like i said she probably doesnt even mean any of it anymore…
"My Love"
[Intro:]
Yo, I’m tripping right,
I heard you got married.
You got married?
No I mean, make any
It don’t really make any sense
I mean, it’s not like I, I didn’t think you were seeing other people or whatever,
I mean I was seeing other people but
You know what this is,
You know what it was, you tsch
I can’t say I really understand though
You chose her cause she’s sweet as pie
Take what you give, even your lies
But baby, are happy without me?
She scrubs your back, washes your clothes
Gives you everything that ask for
But don’t you ever want more?
’cause my love
[Chorus:]
My love is deeper
Tighter
Sweeter
Higher
Flyer
Didn’t you know this,
Or didn’t you notice?
(My love, my love)
My love is deeper
Tighter
Sweeter
Higher
Flyer
Didn’t you know this,
Or didn’t you notice?
Mmmm, what we had don’t need no words
Deeper than anything you ever heard
I ain’t reaching baby,
I know I should be your lady
You say you’re happy
You say you’re great
But you know and I know you really ain’t
You need to come be with me
That’s the way it’s supposed to be
[Chorus]
Cause oh,
All I ever do is think about you baby
I hold you in my arms inside my dreams
And I know what I know and what I know is
That no matter where you go
You will always think of me
[Chorus]
I am happy Felisha… Happy to have met you… Happy to have shared my heart and life experience with you, and now… I am happy without you…