follow up

so after that last entry i went through my "ex girlfriend" box (yes there is a box of photo albums and other little things) and got rid of a lot of stuff… surprisingly I was not sad about it… it was nice to be reminded of some things but I def think it was necessary for me to do… i kept 3 things…1. a receipt from the lawyer we had to hire when we got caught having sex in my car, 2. a picture from the night of our first date, and a picture that she was cut out from of me and my friends…(I don’t really think that one counts, except for the fact that its from the night of our first date). but anyway… there was this other note that i wanted to keep… i read it and was just like wow… look at the person I used to be… I was so happy then. its the person I have been trying to get back to ever since that relationship ended. Although I think I have been able to capture some wonderful parts of that person, I don’t necessarily think I want to go back… I am proud of my progress and happy where i am and who I am now…  I asked MK if it mattered or if it bothered her that I still had all of that stuff and she was just like not really… I don’t really think about it… and I didn’t either to be honest. but needless to say the stuff is gone… literally I threw it in the garbage before class and when I got back the garbage collectors had come and emptied the garbage… bon voyage…

I’m so tired… I had my 4th med school test this AM. Bad idea having our anniversary weekend before such a big test. i tried to get things done and study both before and during but things kept coming up. It was horrible… some in my control and some not in my control… like I definitely should not have played 3 football games on saturday… I am still sore from that… not to mention having so much sex when she first got here that I was just tired all weekend… I tried waking up early to study but would just fall right back to sleep… I wouldn’t trade making love to her for anything but it greaty affected my ability to study.  She just left this morning and I had to take her to the airport at 6:30AM… then had my test at 9 and now I am trying to relax before I start studying again but I have a huge headache…

Needless to say it was a good weekend… I wish it could have been great but I don’t think she really understands how much I have to study, and what my life is really like, and I felt bad that she was here and just had to watch me study sometimes… she apologized numerous times because she felt like a distraction and she was a very pleasant distraction, I just shold have been better about setting boundaries. i tried to accomdate her but then my studies just wound up suffering in the end. I don’t know… I could have gotten more done… its just we hadn’t seen each other in 6 weeks and I missed her so much… it was so nice to wake up next to her every morning for 6 days…

we talked about her moving here and postponing grad school for a year… I don’t know how feasible that would be just because I think it would be hard for her to find a job and she wouldn’t know anyone here… I just think she might be bored, and i would be studying a lot so its not like we would be spending a lot of time together. I don’t know… the thought of her being here is really exciting i just dont know how feasible it is.

We went and tried on wedding dresses (she not I)… I am getting over the whole tube dress thing… originally I wanted her to have her shoulders covered, to be more conservative, but there are some dresses that are happy mediums… and we agree on a lot more than I thought we would which was even nicer… the funny part is we both really like it here… this city, the feel, the atmosphere… I honestly could just stay here if i got into school and had all of my clinicals and other rotations here… it could be fun… who knows…

well back to doing whatever I plan to do…