I’ve messed up.

Yep. Messed up in a fucking major way.

First night here at University and I get absolutely wankered. I have small nervous breakdown. End up with one of my flatmates in my bed. I remember very little, but I remember enough to know we had sex. Without a condom. You’d have thought I’d learn my fucking lesson. I never do. Anyhow, at some point I burst into tears and tried to top myself but threw up loads and so that failed. I also tried slitting my wrists and failed. Who knows what the fuck was going on. I certainly don’t.

ANyhow. So I do the wrist business before the pills. And this guy fucking sits there and just watches me. I was hysterical. And he just sat there.

Anyway. He’d had his way with me a fucked off, leaving me to try and die again. When I realised it wasn’t going to work, I called my boyfriend and told him what I could and more, I haven’t a clue. I have very little memory.

I’ve basically ruined eveything I had with him. The greatest most wonderful loving guy and I went and fucked my flatmate who I’d known for what, 5 hours?!

Yeah.

Shit.