It’s not nice.

I know it’s not nice and I’m a mean and bitter person, but i’m really pissed off that he’s having a nice time in London without me.

I hope we stay together and it works out but currently I don’t have the same faith and optimism in our relationship. I don’t think HE has the same feelings as I do. I feel like he can’t be bothered to make the effort he would in the past. Like, he used to Want to talk to me, he’d make the effort to arrange when we can see eachother again, but i feel like it’s slipping like it did with Tully. Although it never slipped with him, we started at the bottom of the slope, he never made an effort in the first place.

Which is why this thing with Muzz is so depressing. If he cant be bothered now who’s to say how well this is going to end.. You know what the worst bit is? I started feeling like this after the buisiness with the other girl.

I’m going down to London tomorrow to visit overnight.

I’m sick of being nice to unappreciative people. Seriously. I worked hard to advise him, and get him to start packing and offered to help him and stuff, not even a single thanks.

i feel like this is just me being demanding and a bitch but. Urgh. I know it’s selfish and needy but he doesn’t even miss me! I miss him after like, 3 hours. He misses me after 3 weeks. And even then sometimes I feel like it’s not even me he misses. My body isn’t that great, I haven’t orgasmed, but I like giving him pleasure but urgh. Whatever.

I don’t even feel like he’s excited that I’m coming down tomorrow. He’d make a fuss if I cancelled but he wouldn’t cry over it. Not like he would have done 5 months ago.

Fuck, I’m grumpy. I just want to go out and get really pissed. Or alternatively curl up and not have to do anything.

Sadly I have to work early tomorrow.

Bye.

Ps, Am I being reasonable? (Probably not) Please Answer.

PPS  You know that slut of a friend who tried it on with him after NY? She’s pregnant. KARMA?!