On thinness

We met. We went for a little drive to a pretty little village. He gave me my late birthday present (Baileys!!). We had sex. He was only here for the morning and then I had to go out to work, but there were no major arguments or anything. It was ok.

In fact, it was good, but for some very wrong reasons. While he was here, he asked me if i’d lost weight. I said no. He said my boobs were smaller. Hmph. I’m not very happy about that bit, i want big boobs. But anyway, that was that.

That evening he came online so we had a conversation, and he said:

"I am worried about you laura. You have lost a lot of weight, It is a bit scary."

We got into a brief discussion about it, me assuring him that while ok yes, my boobs are a bit smaller now, i havent lost weight anywhere else, so i am now fat AND i have small boobs. He didnt believe me, said i’d never admit that i’d lost weight anyway, but he could see it and that i looked better before, that skinny doesnt suit me. Well that’s because i’m still fat, he hasnt seen skinny.

He also said i am now skinnier than his girlfriend. He says she has put on weight. That also makes me feel damn goood, even though i know he is lying.

But anyway, the point is, those few words he said have been keeping me going since i saw him. Because you know what? Those words contain every single thing that i want to hear. I missed it so much. I missed people being worried, and i missed having the big impact of it all.

It’s a shame it’s not true though. I havent lost weight, i’m still fat, but even though those words werent true, they felt so damn good, and hopefully will continue to keep me going for a while yet.