more blood

I appear to have started bleeding again in an un-period-like way. Just kinda a bit on the toilet paper type thing. I’ve also started developing symptoms (itching, discharge) and this is when i’m onto the final day of my 7 day course of antibiotics, so does this mean they havent worked and i have to go through all that at the clinic again or what?

I can’t be my period since i’ve still got 2 more pills left before my break.

I’m still concerned I my be pregnant. I’ve been feeling sick every single day.

I’m very, very low today. I was supposed to be seeing patients, but I really couldnt face it so left a note on my consultant’s door saying i was feeling unwell, came home and spent the entire day in bed.

Then had to go for a meal with friends tonight since my friend has come to stay for a couple of days, and it was the most uncomfortable thing in the world. I literally didn’t say a word or smile once, and i hate myself for it, but I was just feeling so very low and upset.

I’m not convinced I’ll be able to drag myself to lectures tomorrow, and then I’m hosting a BBQ for 15 new students tomorrow, and have to take them out clubbing afterwards. How am I meant to manage that when I feel about as low as I ever feel?

All the lectures in psychiatry could basically just have had  picture of me. Self harm, depression, anxiety disorder, eating disorder. Child abuse keeps on being mentioned too.

There are some people laughing outside my window, and even that is truely making me feel suicidal. Things are definitely not good right now.