I’m screwed

Time for my biweekly ‘stressed’ entry.

Everywhere I look on my desk I have towering piles of paper that need reading, highlighting, notes written on, understanding. I have an essay to write for a tutorial that needs handing in on Monday. I looked at some past paper questions and I couldn’t answer them even with access to all my notes and textbooks. I just don’t understand them. I would right an example but it would mean nothing to people, but seriously, I just don’t know the answers and don’t know where to find out.

Then I have my dissertation in which I have no results of any value. That wouldn’t be a problem if I could explain the reasons why it went wrong, but I can’t. There is no explanation. The bloody thing just simply didn’t work. Plus, it can only be 10 sides long. It’s going to be longer. And I need to somehow draw 3D diagrams on the computer. I don’t know how to do that.

Then there is my extended essay. I need to hand in my form by Friday to say what I intend to do. I can’t get to my superviser before then though, so I’m purely going to have to trust myself, which I don’t. I need to see my superviser about it, since what I’ve written is 3000 words over the limit and I really need to add more stuff to it. In order to see him, he tells me to meet him at around 5ish in the blue area outpatients. I don’t know what he looks like, am I meant to just walk up to random people? I don’t even know which hospital it is, let alone where blue area outpatients is. Plus, if it is the main hospital, that will involve getting a bus, which costs a lot of money and takes a lot of time. I have a lecture until 4pm, I’ll never get their in time. Plus, I wanted to go to London that day to get papers I need from the British Library (they are ONLY available in that library), and to visit depressed guy, plus I’d arranged to go with a friend so we could have a day out and see the sights and stuff.

Then I need to read all the lecture notes from last term. I don’t understand a word of them. I have to read the research papers to go with them. That is an enormous pile of paper on really boring, inpossible to understand topics (typical title: Overexpression of TH54543 in mice heart leads to calcium insensitivity – who cares about 1 little gene, especially when it’s in a mouse and not a human).

Plus all the notes and lectures this term of course.

My exams begin 23rd May.

Most of all though, I weight over 10 stone. How the hell did that happen? It used to be 7 stone for crying out loud.