Down, then a bit lower, then to the bottom

Maybe I should just pretend the last few weeks havent happened. A blank from the diary and from memory.

I went to the counsellor, then stopped since she was asking too many questions. Sounds stupid right. But she believed I was better after just 2 sessions. "I’m so happy now, all those things you suggested were good." as i sit there bleeding from where i’ve just been cutting myself and trying not to pass out from not eating.

But that’s over with.

I’m still taking the anti-depressants because they make me feel sick which means I eat less. I managed to lose about a stone by not eating for a week, but I’m slowly putting it back on again now which is disgusting me.

The guy fixed my computer for me and kept his word for once and didnt fuck me when i went to see him.

I went to Broadmoor prison on Friday. It looked like Jurassic Park. I spoke to a woman who’d stabbed some people and another who had a thing against baby boys and had killed her son and stabbed her daughter when she was pregnant.

My friend came to stay for a bit last week and we went for a drink a couple of times together. She was obviously a bit concerned about me. I don’t really care about anything anymore.

I have my exams this week. I havent worked towards them. I’ll either pass or fail. I don’t care.