Hey oh, let’s go!
Once upon a time, I had an Open Diary account. This was back in high school, about 2002. Who knows what email address it was and what my user name was. Honestly, I don’t think I want to go back to that account anyway.
Fast forward until now. Well, looking back I would have never thought I would be here where I am today.
I never liked kids growing up. I thought they stunk, clingy and needy. Basic kid. Then when you meet the perfect someone everything falls into place. We will be having our 5th child in July and I wouldn’t change any of it. Apparently, people say I am a good mom. Of course, I never think so. I feel like I go day by day wondering if I really am. Every mom goes that.
Along with having almost 5 kids, I also suffer from depression and anxiety that roots back to my childhood. I don’t think there was a specific event that caused these things, just that it runs in my family. My dad was a very depressed person, possibly bi-polar that medicated his aliments through alcohol. This caused him to have a bit of dementia from his mid-40’s on. The alcohol was his ultimate demise at the age of 72. I was 30 years old. I’m sure there will be a time and place for discussing my father and that history. Anyway, the whole depression and anxiety stems back far into my family history.
I also grew up in North Carolina, I loved it there but always dreamed of the beach when I was younger. I wanted to move to Florida and always feel the sunshine. Well, that changed when you meet you special someone. I am now in South Dakota, where it snows 6 months out of the year. Those 6 months of sunshine are welcomed and it is the nicest weather you could ask for. It really is worth it in the end.
I guess this is a good start as any. I’m sure I will touch on things from my past, but I hope to touch things on the here and now. I kind of want this as my, “complaining” diary. I don’t like to be that negative person and complain all the time to my significant other, so why not online so people can get all fired up too?
<3