Riveting conversations with Photo Mommy…

A conversation with an un-named child tonight –

Me: "Go get your pajamas on"

Un-named Child: "Do I have to?!"

Me: "Um, YES – that would be why I said ‘Go get your pajamas on’. Because that is what I want you to do. Right now."

Un-named Child: "Why do I have to wear pajamas, anyway? They are just like clothes. I should be able to just wear my clothes." *read: L.A.Z.Y.*

Me: *exasperated* "Because…because…well, because YOU LIVE IN AMERICA!! THAT’S WHY!!!!! Now go do it!"

Husband – (begins to laugh hysterically)

Un-named Child: "Hunh?"

Me: "You are an American! And Americans living in America wear pajamas when they go to bed. That’s just the way it is here, buddy-boy. Now go put on your AMERICAN PAJAMAS and quit arguing with me!!!!!!"

Husband – (beet red and uncontrollably shaking with laughter)

Un-named Child: (reappears with pajamas, looking confused) "Um, Mom? These pajamas say they are made in Cambodia…"

Me: "JUST PUT THEM ON YOUR BAHHHHHHH-DEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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After a lengthy interrogation regarding (which will now live forever in history as) "the rock-throwing incident", I uncovered some more information which if true, would make a little more sense out of the situation. In his sworn statement, the Captain stated that on the evening of March 18th, 2008, while outside and with nothing better to do, the boys starting throwing rocks up in the air, and then began throwing them higher and harder. It was in the earthward descent of the rocks that the injuries occured.

Which –if indeed true– makes a TON more sense that my children would be simply too dense to throw rocks up in the air without considering the potential results than the idea of them suddenly fast pitching rocks at a friend for fun. Which would also explain why Skip’s lumps were more on top of his head then in the back. Witnesses, anyone…??

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Chia: "Can we make a tent out of blankets and sleep in the basement tonight?"

Me: "No."

Chia: "Can we do it on Friday night?"

Me: "Yes, but it will be based on behavior. If you do anything horrible between now and Friday – then the tent party is off."

Chia: "You mean like take a knife and cut someone’s throat open?"

Me: "Yes, that would definitely be cause to cancel the tent party, plus any and ALL parties for the rest of eternity…"