Hey Dude! Where’s my car…?

Today my girlfriend (who lives across the street from me) suggested we do a childcare trade. She had to go to the mall & I had to go to the grocery store. Here was my day:

10:30am – 12:30pm – I had 2 of her kids at my house, they all played great and created minimal mess.

1:15pm – Dropped my 4 kids off at her house and headed to Fred Meyer (grocery store)

1:30pm – Got gas at Costco because I realized my gas gauge was BELOW the "E" and the red line.

1:45pm – Parked at Fred Meyer. I got a great parking spot right out front of the doors where the Salvation Army bell ringer was standing, only 3 spaces from the front of the parking row!

1:45pm – 2:55pm – Did all of my Christmas dinner shopping –without four kids in tow– while leisurely sipping a nonfat caramel macchiatto. Happily got wished a politically incorrect "Merry Christmas" by 3 different people in the store!

2:55pm – Walked out to where I parked the car and couldn’t find it. Stopped to think "The row right in front of the store entrance, third stall from the front. Yep, there is the Salvation Army bell ringer directly behind the row." Confused, I walked up and down several different rows pushing the alarm clicker button, but heard nothing. Then it suddenly dawned on me: MY CAR HAS BEEN STOLEN!!!!!!!!!!! My brain started swirling – "What do I do?!?!"

3:10pm – I phoned my friend who had my kids and told her what was happening. Then I phoned my husband. By this time I was SOBBING! He told me to call the police "But I don’t even know the license plate number!!!" I asked him to come to the store and help me and wanted him to call the police for me when he got there. He told me to find the store manager to see how they could help.

3:15pm – I called Jen crying  while I waited for Hubby to arrive. Then (still crying) I called my other friend "C" who is on Christmas vacation in CA. visiting family.

3:18pm – For a brief moment I looked around and thought "WAIT! Maybe it’s a joke and I’m being ambushed by a reality show that is giving me a NEW van!!!" Ok, no camera crews – wishful thinking, back to crying.

3:20pm – I went back into the store and found the manager. He had me call the police and then talk to his loss prevention director who came outside with me to see where the van was parked. He said they had surveillance cameras that might have picked something up. Poor guy – I was totally crying all over the place.

3:30pm – Hubby arrives and comes walking up to where the loss prevention guy and I are standing in the parking lot. Then I REALLY start sobbing "What kind of person steals your van 4 days before Christmas?! I had 14 Christmas cards in the front seat that I had grabbed out of the mailbox on my way to the store – and now I’ll NEVER BE ABLE TO HANG THEM UP IN THE HOUSE!!! *SOB* All of our car seats are gone and we have a $500 deductible. We don’t even have $500!!!!! What are we going to do?!?!" *SOB! SOB!*

3:35pm – Hubby says, "I already reported it to the insurance company, it’s going to be okay. Let’s go put the groceries in MY van while we wait for the police to show up." We start walking over to his van (on the other side of the parking lot) and when we get there, I notice that it is parked nose to nose with a gold van that looks just like ours. Then I notice that it is in the third stall from the front of the row. Hubby looks at me suspiciously, "Hit the clicker." I cringe and reach into my pocket: "BEEP-BEEP!" and the locks pop up in the van in front of us!!

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

I had come in one store entrance and gone out the other and not even realized it.

Hubby immediately busts into hysterical laughter.

I. AM. AN. IDIOT.

I had to slink back into that store and announce to the customer service desk (that I had SOBBED all over only minutes before) that my car was NOT stolen – but that I was too stupid to remember where I had parked the car! The loss prevention guy was already in the back room starting to view the 70 minutes of surveillance tape of the parking lot.

I apologized profusely and the customer service lady just looked at me with the utmost pity and said "That’s okay honey, it’s Christmas time!" She said she’d contact the police to let them know we had found the van.

In my defense, the Salvation Army bell ringer was ringing his bell in front of the entrance that I had originally gone in but then he was at the (now I realize – OTHER) entrance when I came out. Apparently, he had some involvement in this plot to make me crazy!

My husband called back our insurance company and the guy just howled with laughter! "You aren’t going to ever let her live this down are you?!"

"NO WAY!!" answered my sweet husband…