What a 4th…

What a horrible way to be woken up…but since I don’t enjoy negative emotions, I did the only thing I could think of – I got out of the house.

A whole crew of us went to Whitewater to Luke’s grandparents’ farm for a 4th of July party. We had some really good food (although some people didn’t really enjoy the Boca Burgers :)), I learned how to shoot a gun, and the fireworks were fun (although having them shot at us WAS a little scary). The guys injured themselves a lot and it was loud and smoky and FUN. The PVC pipe was cool, as well as the girly sparklers and poppers. It was a great distraction – we were there probably 6 hours and the time just flew by. There was awesome bonding talk by the cactus and, earlier, by the food table. The whole circle of girls…that was just awesome. We talked about old boyfriends and college and silly things. The little boy was adorable and the fire fighter was cool, as well as the person who turned on their hazard lights to watch our “show.” The grand finale was good, too. Then we had a bonfire and Kim, Val, Dani, and I (plus most of the group) talked about all the old T.V. shows we could think of (SYS, HD, SBTB, DD, etc.). Brandon kept sticking his shoe in the fire, and a chunk of wood fell out and started the grass on fire. But, we “didn’t worry,” as the guys told us. Kim, Val, and I left at about 11:30 and drove and TALKED. Thank you girls SO MUCH. I really needed that. We went to Steak ‘n’ Shake and kept talking, then came home.

I kept myself busy all day to distract myself. But now I’m home and alone and everything feels…off. My brother is sleeping in my mom’s bed. My mom is sleeping in the living room recliner. My aunt is asleep on the couch. And my dad is still awake. This isn’t right. And I have to keep myself distracted because if I let myself think about it, I’ll break down. And I need Mitch here to talk to about it. I can’t deal with it alone.