Lemon cream pie

I recognize this feeling (unfortunately).  It’s 80 degrees outside, and the exterior of my body reflects that temperature.  But the inside is chilled, freezing, draining.  Draining me of a natural high, a good feeling.

AND IT’S SO RIDICULOUSLY, INSANELY STUPID.

Why do I feel like this?  Why do words have the ability to nudge me towards the edge?

I have never been this lonely in my life.