He’s sniffing the pillows

I’m feeling alone again tonight.  Not just lonely, but alone.  There’s a difference, you know?

And I’m hurt that you didn’t call – was I wrong to assume you would? 

And I’m glad that you don’t read this because I’m being dramatic but this is what I do.  It’s how I take the black stuff from inside and get it OUT.  It’s not a lot and it’s not all the time, but it’s still there.  I don’t think anyone ever figures out how to get it all out. 

I’m so scared of the summer.  And that no one is going to understand why.  But there I go again, more assumptions of the unknown. 

I know it’s not for about two weeks, but I was thinking today about how I need to get stuff ready for the 23rd.  I can’t ring in another year of being alive without this tradition.  But I don’t know where to go this time…

Mmm…too much.  Don’t want to deal.  Just not going to think.