9/4/2003

I knew that people would question my decision, assume things about it, and point out its flaws.

It is amazing how you can trick yourself into thinking you are happy – but at the end of the day, when you just are not happy, point blank, you have to re-examine your life and find out what went wrong.

When you wake up in the morning and you dread walking twenty minutes, up an absolutely huge hill, to you first class, when you hesitate to venture out alone at night because you wonder if the barfights will get out of control, and when you feel your stomach tun as you walk past the garbage piles on the sidewalk, something is wrong.

I have had happy times here, of course. But I am not content or, overall, happy. I could never live here permanently.

I really gave this a chance – I looked for ways to be involved and got active. But each activity left me feeling even more blank and hollow than before – I simply cannot live my life like this anymore.

I really do not care if you agree with me, disagree with me, think I’m crazy, respect my decision or not. All I ask is that you respect my right to MAKE a choice.

I’m not high school Jenni anymore, guys – I’ve done a 180 and life has to be changed accordingly.

So goodbye to some of you and hello to a new life.