9/14/01

This happiness is so insane. It comes and goes so quickly.

In Spanish this morning, we were all laughing as we struggled to find the defintions for vocab words. We used our hands to indicate what they obviously should be. Elizabeth and I took a “field trip” to the office and had a nice little talk. Jenny said she liked my shoes. I was happy.

In English, I found out I got an “A” on my essay. And after the class, Ms. Anderson agreed to proof the Wuthering Heights essay (and she’s already given it back, it’s awesome). I was happy.

Band was a total slack-off class today. Happy.

In gym, we really PLAYED volleyball. It was such an awesome change. I ignored the jerks on that other team. Still happy.

Subway lunch, yum. Quiet boat lunch. We had a “cookie thing” today. And Val wanted jalepeno chips. Yup, happy.

The genetics test was pretty simple. And Mrs. W. is really cool about letting you talk with people after you’re done. And Naomi and I made some plans. Happiness.

6th hour was mostly “Blood Brothers.” C’mon, that’s a given.

Psych was easy and funny. I learned something new at the end of class. But I felt a twinge of the darkness seetting in. Still pretty happy, though.

After school, I turned in my Spanish diary, picked up my essay, and went to practice. Avoided practice from 4 to 4:30 by claiming I had Thespian Society work to do. Then I went and actually enjoyed myself on stage for another half an hour. Very happy.

Came home, my brother’s home for the weekend.

This was a depressing factor. Because he’s different. But I don’t want to go into that…

6:15 to around 7 up at Craig having Rachael do my hair, warming up, practicing (watching Joe fall during the run-on), then getting on the best bus. Steph and I were loud and obnoxious. And the guys pissed off some little kids walking down the sidewalk. VERY funny. Majorly happy.

At the game, we sat in the stands and acted like 4 year-olds. Spelled out “leprosy” and “ethics” and “morals.” Silly things like that. Steph, Myra, and I sang and danced and yelled and giggled. Did I screw up both of my things on the field? Yes. Do I care? Of course. But after that, I was STILL happy.

There was a mad rush for the buses, and mine was fairly empty. I wound up with Steph, Andrew, Ben, and some others on mine. Couldn’t find Mitch back at Craig, so when Steph and I came here, I called him. Well, at first he thought I was Jane. Odd…that he doesn’t recognize my voice? Or whatever. Not a big deal. But it was from then on (well, actually from the time Steph and I got back from our ice-cream “field trip” and I went to Aaron’s at about 10) that I felt gloomy. Why? I think I can sort of explain.

1. All the base reasons: tired, hadn’t eaten much, stressed out.

2. When I feel like I’m barging in, the unhappiness sets in.

3. When I feel out of place, it gets even worse.

All three of these things were acting up tonight. In combination with a country drive, I couldn’t have felt any worse. Physically and emotionally cold and thoroughly wasted.

I just need to sleep…