4/22/04

Why the FUCK can’t I make friends here?  I am so lonely, so unhappy, so confused and utterly, utterly alone.

It is not something that is Mark’s fault, so it is not something he can fix.  It is a hole that is totally separate from our relationship and our life together.

But what a hole it is.

I think after I am done with my undergraduate work, I will leave Wisconsin.  Or at least move back to Madison. 

As soon as I get through today, tomorrow will just begin and I will be back in the same place.

Such frustration.  Such insanity.

I wish I FELT 19-almost-20.  But I feel like I’m 8 years old.