February 8, 2004

2/9/2004

horrible, hideous thoughts running through this blank mind. feeling two years old and knowing that i’m just inches away from my 20’s. i need to go somewhere and smoke

but you don’t smoke

but i don’t want to because it’s disgusting and i don’t like it. but i cannot help these feelings that are flying around.

i feel lonely and lost and imperfect and useless and totally worthless.

and i don’t have a clue what to do about it. i cannot keep having this happen.

fuck.