October 13, 2002

10/14/02

What a “movie moment”…

That piano music was so perfectly timed. Talk about fate or destiny or whatever. It made it just so…perfect.

We are going to be best friends. We’re going to give ourselves time to heal (meaning pretty much only group stuff) and then we’ll take it from there. We defined it as the same as our dating relationship but without the physical aspect and not quite as intense. A completely solid best friendship, but room for other things in our lives.

He will always be there to talk to and hug and buy Legos with and ski with and do homework with and go to the bookstore with. He will always hug me and care about me and love me (in his own way, please don’t ask me to describe it, it’s personal) and I will always hug him and care about him and love him.

I think that’s the best part of this – I still love him and I still CAN love him.

I’m following the best advice right now – just take it one day at a time. That’s all I’m doing.

I’m only taking down one picture – the one of Andrew, Naomi, Mitch and I at homecoming. It seems fitting, it seems okay to do that. But the one from graduation and the one from the canoe trip will stay up. And I hope his mother sends me the pictures from this year.

I am still going through emotional waves. It is still hard to be alone. I understand that I haven’t given myself much time, but I am just being honest here. That’s all I can do right now.

So much change. It isn’t what I would have hoped for, but I’ve still got my best friend and my X-Files buddy, not to mention strengthened friendships with Paul and Eric and Aaron and so many other people, plus the prospect of a friendship with Jen. How can that NOT be good, in the end?

And I still have Margo and Mr. and Mrs. Long. It was so good to talk to his mom last night.

And it was…well, I can’t say good, but it was somewhat comforting to know that Mitch misses me. And that he’s going to pull his weight in staying best friends. And I’m glad he still felt it was okay to hug me. I hope we never lose that.

So much change…

honest to god, you have no idea how much this is…pretty much *exactly* what i went through with cat. good to know you have a friend, eh? 🙂 –magicboy–

quiet boy

October 14, 2002

first, i didn’t say someone was the rain on my day. second, have you ever written an entry that doesn’t draw a black and white picture? next time i can put a draft through you first and you can blame yourself for all my problems in the revision if it makes you feel better.andrew

hey, it’s really good to hear that everything is solved and it sounds like even more better things came out of this than you’d expected. in the end run, you learned ALOT and life just got even better than before 😀 it’s great to hear that everything is solved 🙂

*updates self* *respects your courage*