When life gets too serious….

Think about something else… and then laugh. Some days it’s all that keeps us from crying, really.

 

Some random thoughts from some random brains:

 

1. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.  

2. A day without sunshine is like, night 

 

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 

 

4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn’t familiar territory. 

 

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 

 

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 

 

7. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 

 

8. Honk if you love peace and quiet. 

 

9. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 

 

10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 

 

11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 

 

<p style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; text-align: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); “>12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 

 

13 I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. 

 

14. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have. 

 

15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week. 

 

16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 

 

17. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 

 

18. Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade! 

 

19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. 

 

20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it! 

 

21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 

 

22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand… 

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23. OK, so what’s the speed of dark? 

 

24. How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink? 

 

25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 

 

26. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. 

 

27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 

 

28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. 

 

29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 

 

30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 

 

31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 

 

32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 

 

<p style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; text-align: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; color:rgb(51, 51, 51); “>33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. 

 

34. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. 

 

35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 

 

36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. 

 

37 Just remember – if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off. 

 

38. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 

 

 

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February 16, 2011

Sorry for the font color, but OD is NOT working with me today…. pls highlight to read if you need to, and I again apologize for the inconvenience. We now return to our regularly scheduled programs…