wasted hours

I, of course, am an idiot

I trusted someone who didn’t want to be trusted

I didn’t even think about it

I mean, on monday he told me that he really liked me, that obviously we would wait to have sex cuz I have herpes

but he kissed me like he meant it

and then on tuesday something changed

and now he barely will hug me

and he hasn’t said anything

but, it’s fairly obvious

 

I think

I’m extremely insecure

I’m not going to blame herpes completely, it was there before I had it

but it certainly has made things worse

and I have no friends anymore so I have way too much time to think about it.

I’m tempted to march over there right now and demand an explanation

if I didn’t seem crazy enough already

 

I mean, could he really lose interest in me just like that?

blah

more caffiene

that sounds like a good idea.

<3 phoebe