the wolves

I had a flashback from when I was with my ex (numero uno, the one who gave me herpes)

It brought up such strong emotions in me when I talked to my counselor about it today, and I still feel like talking about it.

 

It was the day after Valentines day.

I had slept over in his room the night of the 13th, woken up in his room the morning of Valentines day, without a single word from him the whole day.

I felt like shit because I’d been sleeping with him fairly regulary but he’d snubbed me on the one day everyone is usually nice.

The next day, around the afternoon I got a text that he wanted to hang out, I agreed, I thought maybe he was going to apologize

He was cool and casual initially and we just sat on the lounge couches watching tv for a while.

Eventually he invited me up to his room, it was obvious that he wanted to have sex

But, I was on my period.

So he tried to convince me to give him head, initially I told him no.

he hadn’t done anything to deserve it, and I didn’t really like doing it anyways.

But he kept pushing it in my face, and eventually I caved, and I did it.

I’m not going to go into explicit details, but lets just say that it didn’t end in a very pleasant manner for me.

I found out two weeks later that he’d been fucking another girl on his floor all day on valentines day, and into the morning of the next day.

 

I can’t believe I let myself be used that way. He didn’t have a single drop of respect for me.

the worst part? I stayed with him until august 15th of this year.

 

I promise you, I will never let something like this happen to me again.

I wouldn’t wish the low level of self respect I had on anyone.

 

Side note: I can’t wait until the elections are over. I am so tired of all the drama on the news and facebook.

phoebe