sun it rises

I was very bitter about valentines day all week.

It’s so difficult to ignore too, you can’t hide from it unless you lock yourself in a room and watch netflix with a bottle of wine….which may or may not be what I wanted to do.

But it isn’t what I did.

I wore a pretty dress and went about my day with a flirtatious look in my eye.

And then around 5 I realized that he’d left a voicemail apologizing to me on wednesday….That doesn’t make up for him being a dick, but at least he wasn’t ignoring me like I thought he was.

I would have a nice conversation with someone about just being friends on valentines day.

But there was a gorgeous sunset, and some funny local hoboes, and I wasn’t as upset about everything as I thought I’d be.

And my housemate made cookies.

It was cute seeing all these guys with flowers.

I realized that no one even knows my favorite flower, so sad that no one is going to show up at my doorstep with orchids…..

Oh well.

Life goes on, and each day I’m alone, I grow more comfortable in what makes me, me.

Sometimes it’s hard, and I think ‘no one will ever stay with a girl who has herpes’, but I’ve been through 3 guys now since I got diagnosed, and I think it’s not as big an obstacle as it once seemed.

As long as I stay honest and open.

And it’s friday and the sun is out and I feel ready, for whatever it is life is going to throw at me next.

Phoebe