roxanne

I am a human explosion of fear and failure and thoughts that wont stop running in my head.

it makes me dizzy how fast my brain is going right now

and it’s buzzing and buzzing in circles around you because you can’t make up your fucking mind

and I’ve run out of people to talk to

and I’m afraid to ask for what I want

because I don’t want you to leave me.

because you don’t want this anymore and you’re too proud to admit it

I’m supposed to be writing a speech about the great pacific garbage patch but I’ve written 2 words so far

because you texted me about how we should stop fucking

you text me this at least once a week

but always you have a different reason

this makes me think you’re scared

I get it, herpes is scary for me too

probably scarier

but this fear

it isn’t good

because you can’t trust me and I can’t trust you

fear is the wall between us, among other things

we just fuck

no emotions anymore

just sighs and pleasure

what the fuck are we doing?

no seriously though, what the fuck are YOU doing?