make light

listen to make light by passion pit.

 

I had people over at my house last night.

that’s right, actual live human beings.

they did not come for me, they came for my friend’s bf.
 

All the stoner boys like to be together and take oil dabs, they don’t really care where they are.

But that’s okay, they at least like me enough to come to my house.

Most of the night, it was two couples, and me and sir housemate.

But it honestly felt like it could have been 3 couples.

even though we aren’t romantic, or flirtatious, we are very…intune to each other?

Like once you get past the honeymoon phase of a relationship, and reach an equilibrium with someone, and you know them well enough to know how they feel when they don’t say it.

but also the whole time I was thinking "hey thanks guys, for reminding me of my complete lack of ability to be in a healthy relationship"

that’s not their fault. That’s just me feeling all unlovable.

Aaron called me yesterday. I don’t know if it’s because of the two times I accidentally called him (yes accidentally, stupid iphone) last week, or if he actually missed me.

but it was just enough to remind me that I still have it bad for him.

And of course it was like "we should catch up, I’ll call you later! for sure!" and then nothing, which was okay because for once I was actually busy.

But then I called him today because I’m lonely and crazy and of course, nothing.

which, of course, made me more crazy.

Fuck feelings dude, this shit sucks.

 

I was trying to find someone to go to the beach with me and throw a frisbee with me and then was quickly reminded that I have no friends.

Frisbee is just one of those things you can’t do by yourself.

phoebe