Juncus mexicanus

Juncus mexicanus

Family Juncaceae

This plant is all over the dunes. it pokes your feet as you walk.

I like it though, as it pokes through the sand.

 

I had a dream about David a couple days ago. It wasn’t a sexual or romantic dream, we were in the journey together. We were trying to get to the waterfall we went to the first time we ever hung out, and we stopped at his cousin’s, who was an army vet, and he was showing me his house that was full of things, to fill his empty-ness, instead of people.

I don’t know what it means.

I’ve been meaning to write all week, so many thoughts buzzing in my head, but every time I manage to be patient enough for the site to load and for the ads to go away, my mind just goes blank.

Everything is okay, my mind, the most important thing, is staying out of the hole that I sometimes dig for myself.

Not much changes, but I’m becoming more okay, I think.

I feel a lot more stable, emotionally consistent. It’s been several months since a serious breakdown. 

It’s exciting to feel passion, to feel that my happiness isn’t so dependent on other people.

I have started a fling thing with another guy…gentle and consistent and he grows weed for a living.

Anyone who knows me at all assumes this one, like the rest, will not last.

I don’t know how it will go, but I enjoy his company and the sex is excellent, not that it’s super important to me.

He’s not saying something about emotional hang-ups from a past relationship, I can tell. Don’t ask me how, I just do.

Which is fine, David, very clearly, is not out of my brain completely either.

I told him about herpes and he doesn’t care.

It’s such a nice thing for my guilt to finally start lifting. Although I don’t think it will completely go away.

I wanna go on a trip on the coast, northwards, into oregon and washington.

I want to go so many places, do so many things, but I am always waiting on other people.

Fall is such an excellent time of year.

The smell of rain and leaves is one of my favorites.