The Truth About Zombies Part 2

So you have seen all the movies. Slow moving zombies, chanting "brainssss", etc. Mofocat, in his campaign to protect his undead legions has even procreated this myth but I am here to tell you, it is all a lie. Zombies act similar to you and I except they have a slightly paler complexion (no blood circulation), and evil tendencies (reanimated bodies possessed by demons tend to be not the nice type.)  You might be even able to smell them as they are still dead, just reanimated. Many zombies wear axe body spray to hide the smell. And ladies, they are completely functioning (can we say priaprism)? But should any unsuspecting woman hook up with said zombies, well lets just say they dont spread zombieism by raising zombie children. 

In The Rocky Mountain West I have alluded to a site in entry one where the City Of Denver has turned a waste disposal site owned by the evial and nefarious ASARCO company into a city park. Nearby is a national guard armory and a cemetery. Its all in enrty one, JUST READ IT WILLYOU! What I didnt tell you is that all three of these sites are completely adjacent to SAND CREEK!, a spur of the South Platte River. Remember the Sand Creek Massacre I mentioned in entry one? See the connection? Are you followinf me here cuase here is where it gets really creepy.

Initially in the beginning of the Denver area there were actually two town sites. Denver and Auraria. The streets of Denver are laid out on these two conflicting grids as you can see the old Auraria grid parallelling Cherry Creek and the Denver streets following the North South grid.

Auraria, now only remembered by the name of the Auraria Campus, a multi college campus encompassing Metro State, Denver Community College, and the University Of Colorado-Denver was a town closer to Cherry Creek which eventually connected to Sand Creek through the Platte. River zombies from the massacre area eventually made their way to Auraria, infected all the Aurarians, and eventually took over the whole area. Zombies being the essentially intelligent but evil beings that they are wanted to erase all  evidence of their  horrible crime and not bring attention to themselves let it appear that the City Of Denver took THEM over and became the City Of Denver.

Now not all members of the State Of Colorado were fooled and members of the local chapter of the Freemasons along with certain key members of State Government built the State Capitol around the same time but armed themselves with a laser cleverly mounted in the Dome Of The State Capitol Of Colorado. Not that freemasons are altruistic in their nature, they just dont want to share their money with the undead, more on this later.

There now exists a sort of detente between the zombie population and the State Government. Zombies roam the capitol hill area near the State Capitol but are often confused with crackheads. State Officials monitor the situation through an extensive camera system around the State Capitol. Should any zombies get out of hand "ZAP" then they are gone.

Perhaps I have revealed too much… perhaps more later.

-PF