Organic Chemistry Rhyme
[I wrote this instead of studying, I intended it to be lyrically driven over a phat hip-hop beat]
This conformational Glycoside is Beta/Cis, Trans/Alpha
A propofol bicombient found in powdered alfalfa.
Uronic oxidation of glucose to Cytosine,
Has got my mind spinning like a centrifuge on dopamine.
Bromo-3-methylbenzene, drop it in and step away,
Stayin’ late today to conclude this with an essay.
Caffeine and ethanol in an Erlenmeyer flask,
Six point six grams of chlorine, quick with a gas mask.
Drop off the hosing for my steam distillation,
Stack the ice pack rack, compound crystallization.
Put away with the gravity, I’m suckin’ suction filtration,
And percent yield? Fetch the parafilm, I’ll work out the calculation.
‘Cause I’m down with the carboxylic acids, aldehydes and ketones,
My mind is primed with the amides, the esters and the lactones
Alcoholic ethers, and a rate of reaction,
Psycho-cyclic amines in ultra-violet rarefaction.
From acid anhydride to carboxyl-pi derivatives,
Alkyl halides top the list with my limiting imperatives.
PKa’s in my hat, acid-base-conjugate pair,
I’m all over organics with no time to spare.
Arrive the next week to my fume hood station,
Cabinet A-29, forgot my locker combination.
Goggles on site, for tight Gassification,
Clampin’ purified lactose, hooked up for sublimation.
Seated round-bottom, in a hot water bath,
An occasional swirl for the good of a reaction path.
Decanting with the products and a glass rod titration,
Drop by drop phenol to observe discolouration.
Packin’ tube upon test tube, testin’ dilute and saturation.
Snip a slip of paper, hydrogen ion concentration.
Talk ‘till completed Dr. Barfoed’s test,
Monosaccharides present, good grief I could have guessed.
I got my tables all alligned, chat to check with the rest.
Hope the T.A. agrees, part C is off my chest.
‘Cause I’m down with the carboxylic acids, aldehydes and ketones,
My mind is primed with the amides, the esters and the lactones
Alcoholic ethers and a rate of reaction,
Psycho-cyclic amines in ultra-violet rarefaction.
From acid anhydride to carboxyl-pi derivatives,
Alkyl halides top the list with my limiting imperatives.
PKa’s in my hat, acid-base-conjugate pair,
I’m all over organics with no time to spare.
Message no. 135
Author: Helen Langille
Date: Wednesday, April 12, 2006 11:26am
wow
just…. wow
Message no. 137
Author: Scott Kember
Date: Wednesday, April 12, 2006 12:13pm
duuuudddeeeee, halarious
Message no. 138
Author: Moustafa Youssef
Date: Wednesday, April 12, 2006 12:16pm
PHILIP! UR MY INSPIRATION..i always wanted to be a simultaneous rapper and
chemist…..two in one, is just too good to be true
Message no. 145
Author: Jean-Francois Nowlan
Date: Wednesday, April 12, 2006 5:35pm
I won’t have time to memorize that…but Phil…dude…wow…man.
Forget the organic…go on the docks and spit your ill rhymes.
I’m sure they’re looking for a hip new young chemist to replace Bill Nye!
But seriously, kudos.
J-Fizzle
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Message no. 156
Author: Amro Alkhudair
Date: Thursday, April 13, 2006 4:54am
Zub al7umar
Message no. 160
Author: Moustafa Youssef
Date: Thursday, April 13, 2006 11:25am
hahahah…amro enta shlooonek esh akhberek, esh da3ed tesa3ewy? organic chem?
7asafa man 7asafa
Message no. 163
Author: Scott Kember
Date: Thursday, April 13, 2006 1:02pm
there are no theories of evolution, only people chuck norris chooses to stay alive!
Message no. 167
Author: Christopher Dube
Date: Saturday, April 15, 2006 1:01am
chuck norris’s tears cure cancer…to bad he never cries
Message no. 164
Author: Yousef Alattar
Date: Thursday, April 13, 2006 6:18pm
AMAZING, you got mad skillz man, 2Pac would be nothin compared to that. Peace
</tb
Oh my god that is classic. I laughed so hard Phil, it brought the biggest smile to my face. I’m going to be singing that next year after my own chem class… Good luck on exams bro. -pgw
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