Reach Out and…Poke Someone
****Cost of setup: ten minute email dialogue with friend and former co-worker.
“Phaedrus: Hey, Donna…do you know a Val Crane?
Donna: Yup – she’s the protocol officer at the Doctrine Center. Should I ask why?
Phaedrus: Do you know her well? Does she have a sense of humor?
Donna: I don’t know her that well. We talk and have some professional dealings together, but on a personal level, no. She seems OK and that she would be fun and have a sense of humor.
Phaedrus: Ok…your call then on this then. My buddy Randy (Buck) Bridges is at the Doctrine Center teaching one of the courses he teaches there a couple times a year. He and I were just emailing and I asked if Judy Davis was still there and to say “Hi” from me. He told me Judy had been reassigned and Val was there and taking care of arrangements for him and all. He said she seemed really nice (and he’s a real flirt so I suspect some of that is going on too). Since I’ve known him since high school, Randy has always been anal about the way he dresses – always meticulous (to a fault). I call him gay. Since college, we could get drunker than skunks together (and have been many, many times) and in the end he would always very neatly fold his clothes or hang them up, making sure all creases were perfect (me of course sleeping in mine if I still had them on when we got home). He prefers to do his own laundry because his wife doesn’t do it “right.” See…gay!! I bet he ironed his flight suits when he was on active duty. Sooooo….if Val can maybe mention to him that she notices a little something “irregular” about the way he is dressed and she thought he would like to know… Something like a crease in his pants noticeably slightly off or…shirt not tucked in all the way…something (anything) like that will drive him nuts. And…make me laugh. A lot.
Donna: Hes not visiting the Doctrine Center any more – he’s at CADRE for the CFACC course and my buddy Nancy Barco is protocol over there. She knows him well (knows him as “Buck”). When I explained, she was well aware of how particular he is about his clothing. They are going to think of something – like telling him he doesn’t match or something. I’ll let you know how it turns out.”
****Cost of reading the results of your efforts in your buddys response a few hours later: cleaning bill for shirt with coffee stains caused by coffee emitting from your mouth due to uncontrollable laughter.
“I was standing in the hall earlier, talking to Helen, looking pretty sharp (Helen thinks I dress very well)- have on pale green slacks; yellow shirt; blue blazer; and a pale green, yellow, blue striped tie. Then Nancy Barco, another CADRE protocol lady who works with Helen came up, had some casual conversation, then she reached out and took my tie in her hand and said, ‘do you think this matches? – did you pick out this outfit this morning?’ Helen couldn’t believe it, stuck up for me. I think Nancy saw how hurt I was and couldn’t stand it, told me that Donna told her to make fun of my clothes, on order from Phaedrus. Thanks, asshole.”
****Cost of ambushing the best man at your wedding from 370 miles away: PRICELESS!
LOL that’s priceless! Don’t you wish you could have seen the look on his face when he was asked if he really thought his tie matched?
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Extremely evil and funny. Did you fess up?
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OH you … even the distance in miles makes no one safe from you! Heh.
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Yep. Gay.
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and much of our taxes is paying for this? just asking…
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You do like to get people, don’t you? I seem to recall receiving Halloween emails from you that you KNEW would freak me out.
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Love it! And I like how he describes his clothes so well. He DOES sound a bit foofy. 🙂
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You are soooooooo good at being bad. Nicely done, dear. I’d gladly paid to have the coffee stain removed. Now what’s this about you sometimes not making it back with your clothes on after going on a drunkenly drunk with your buds and Buds? Well, I never. 🙂 LWM 143
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Delightful! Only flaw was that your minions were too soft hearted!
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Asshole.
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*Huge Grin* But what’s so damn scary is that you sit around thinking up ways to be a real cuss…and what is even scarier is that it was probably seconds. What if you had real time on your hands???? I shudder to think…
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I’m so glad you’re not on my payroll. We’d never make a damn dime. We’d laugh our asses off, but we’d be broke!
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You’re incorrigible 🙂 xxoo,
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You’re an excellent “poke”r player, hehehe
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That was a good one !!
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RYN: You can’t blame me – he offered! And suggested a prioritized list. I asked him over and over again if he was SURE he wanted to do this, and he said yes enough times that I quit asking. All that, uh, “christening” might happen, but not until well after we move in, since my MIL is helping with the actual move. 🙁 Glad for the help, but we have visitors for 3 wks straight!
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ryn: I hear ya on that!
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Yeah, Nancy is too soft. But I’ve got an idea to get even with her . . .
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Farkin’ classic!! He may not be technically gay, but he’s probably wearing a pantyliner just in case.
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RYN: Tell you what….I’ll send you a pic of me wearing my new bling. That’s the best I can do without getting us both in a heap o’ trouble, my buddy. ;0~
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Cool !
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RYN: There are six – you can have them all for $150 plus the cost of shipping 😉 Hope you are having a good Mardi Gras!
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Hey Phae, will you go to my daughters diary…I think she needs some encouragement, love, something…she’s totally sad about loosing a guy that went back to his native Lithuania. I thought you might add some humor, insight or something…just knowing the way you are with wimins….It’s: Ducky Buddhist….I hope she doesn’t hate me for this…
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LMAO……you always crack me the hell up……ty for your notes btw, yer awesome 🙂
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haha…thats funny…thanks pola…anyways, he acctually speaks english very very well (hes been here for 4 years) and I would try and learn lithuanian WHEN (not if…) I go there. Thanks though, that was very sweet of you! hope things are well on your end…
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rotf There is just something about ragging on a buddy that is better than…..all of it.
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LOL…great entry. Made me laugh out loud! ryn: sticking my tongue out at you! You’re right!
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do you have a real heavy southern accent? Could almost hear it this time as I read….
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Hey, sunshine….just wanted to let you know that my latest entry has pics of me and my Army love that I’ve known since I was 12 years old…the one that I should have married, and will be later in the summer. 🙂
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