Plan for the Worst

Well hello there. Where have I been? Lots of places and doing lots of things I guess.

The biggest time consumer was “helping” a friend and co-worker earn her Master’s degree in Public Administration from LSU. What started off as simply editing some of her papers and presentations got waaaaaay out of hand but I just cannot say “No” to many women. Kate knows this – she has berated me for it often. Nevertheless, “we” graduated last Friday so I should have some time freed up to get back here I hope. And I truthfully have learned a lot and that is never a bad thing – the education without the piece of paper. However, I have missed personal writing and all my friends here.

With that…here we go.

A big event starts tomorrow. The first EVER family reunion for my side of the family. We are a small family, but folks are coming from San Francisco, Denver, Dallas, and Birmingham to meet most of the rest of the family in South Louisiana for four days in the best city ever for a reunion – New Orleans. Four generations will be represented, but most are in the adult middle two so there will be fine dining at one end and superlative bar hopping at the other – and great music throughout.

Although the total number is only sixteen, I was able to declare last week without reservation that we can match family dysfunction with the largest of families – Whoo Hooo!! In just the planning phase, two factions have decided they just can’t get along so one faction will attend for the first two days only and the other for the last two days only. Whatever. I’m going to have fun – especially with the third generation which includes my three kids, their significant others, and three adult nieces.

On Saturday we are moving the family from New Orleans to my home in Baton Rouge (about 60 miles north) where we will host an authentic coonass crawfish boil (suck ‘dem heads!). By both nature and nurture I am a consummate planner. OCD-ish by nature and the nurture part comes from years of military career experiences in many positions wherein success was measured by perfection only – any error resulted in overall failure – or the perception of failure. So I have made many lists and assignments. My progeny took their assigned chores for the event in stride, explaining to their significant others that no one would want me to use my “Colonel’s voice.” One of my bartenders hooked me up with her parents who have a crawfish pond so my major duty Saturday morning will be traveling to get the “select” mudbugs fresh out of the mud (you have to know to appreciate this). It’s about 40 miles from home, but fresh, select, and at a 60% savings. Few truly appreciate what can be accomplished from a bar stool I tell you.

Mulling over everything at one of my last preparation checklist reviews, another important matter struck me. A VERY important matter. Soooo…I made up the sign replicated below for posting:

********************

WARNING!

This is a low-flow, water-saving, environmentally friendly toilet.

Consequently – it does not work well.

Depending on how you use it, you may want to consider:

– flushing frequently (which of course defeats its purpose now doesn’t it?)

– using the bathroom in the master bedroom with the old-timey, water wasteful toilet that works as it is designed

OR

– being prepared to use the hand plunger to your right as you’re reading his (also old-timey but perfectly functional and decoratively camouflaged as a chrome bathroom accent piece)

Signed ~ the Management

********************

Of course the wife is absolutely mortified that I plan on posting this but since SHE is not the family plumber, I think that is my call ya know.

Laissez les Bon Temps Rouler!!

@EDIT@

My sign is much cooler than I seem to be able to reflect it here…font sizes and colors and centering and stuff. Ooops…OCD crap again.