I Love the Smell of Sex in the Morning…

…and the sight of it…even if I’m not directly involved.

Our organization is on flex time and I am among about a dozen others who choose the earliest start time of 7:00 am. I work better in the morning and getting off earlier than most has the benefit of less traffic during the commute home. And I have recently discovered there are even some bonus benefits to my schedule.

About a year ago, I went to get my first cup of coffee one morning. The coffee pot is situated in front of one of the four banks of windows that surrounds our 10th floor downtown building. As I poured, I was distracted by some activity on the roof of a three-story building across the street. Lo and behold, there stood a nekkid lady. Fully nekkid – waving and artfully positioning a large red scarf over body parts as the sole photographer took his shots. An early morning unauthorized photo shoot apparently. I dutifully alerted the half-dozen or so other workers in the area to share in the show. One brought binoculars he keeps in his desk. Not his first rodeo I guess. From the poses the attractive young lady struck, we surmised she was submitting the photos to some publication other than the kinds we men buy mostly for the articles. I mean in some poses we could actually see her tonsils. And she never even opened her mouth. It was a good morning start and the late-comers bemoaned their misfortune of missing her.

Yesterday morning I again began my morning routine of getting my first cup of coffee and once again I recognized some movement in my periphery vision and looked to our high-rise parking garage which sits caddy-cornered from our building. The top (eighth) floor of the parking garage is uncovered, but atop that floor, in the corner, is a block-house-looking extension which houses the elevator. The roof of this elevator shaft block house is accessible by a ladder affixed in the back. There on top of that structure I see a young couple in tank tops and gym-like shorts propped up on their elbows with a blanket spread beneath them and canned drinks of some sort in koozies at their sides.

Well.

“There is only one way for this to go,” I said to myself.

So once again I dutifully alerted the early-bird co-workers in my area (all female this time) and we gathered along the bank of windows. We did not have to wait long. Her shorts came off first and his a split second later. She got on her back, legs spread and straight up, and they got jiggy with it.

[An aside: As entertaining as the couple was, the reactions of my co-workers was just as entertaining. Ok…that’s a lie…it wasn’t even close to being as entertaining. Nevertheless, the varying reactions are worth mention. There were five other ladies observing with me. Three of the five were like kids in a candy store with shrieks of glee and their nose prints left embedded on the glass. (Being biologically-challenged, I had to observe from a greater distance.) Our 77 year-old (this is true) co-worker exclaimed in her signature slowest country drawl in the world, “Whuuuuuuuuut…..rrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..thaaaaaaaaaaaaaay……doooooooooin?” I had to respond with, “It’s been a long time for you, eh, Erlyene?” And the fifth in our group was our office evangelist. We all have them. She immediately exclaimed that our lovers were disgusting and sinful and so were we for watching them. Then she turned around and went back to her cubicle in the interior part of the building. And…she made that same voyage and delivered that same message to us…about five times. Typical.]

Now, back to our story. After a noteworthy period of heavy hitting, our hero decides to take a break and stands up (and out). My co-voyeurs gasp in delight as the dude was quite…talented. So while he walks around the small rooftop strutting his stuff, our heroine does not miss a beat (so to speak) and continues on herself with herself (my favorite part of the show of course). A few minutes later, he removes his shirt (in anticipation of the work before him I guess) and re-engages in the inner thighs of his young lady.

In a sub-plot to this play…we had also been observing (to a much lesser degree) two parking lot officials who had been standing at the foot of the elevator house access ladder – one on a phone most of the time. Apparently some prudish whistle-blower reported the activity to authorities. It may have been our office evangelist, but a quick survey of the surrounding downtown skyline, with its multiple over-eight-story buildings all appearing to LEAN in the direction of our exhibitionists, would indicate the call could have come from anywhere. Regardless, during their second round, the DPS cruiser arrives on the scene. DPS – Department of Public Safety. Cop wannabes (aka Barney Fifes) who for whatever reason could not make the grades to become state or city cops. These are assigned law enforcement duties associated with state building and employees. Lucky us. We watch as one of the officers ascends the ladder until his head clears the structure and he can see our young couple loving each others’ brains out. He stops at that point and we see the bobble-head-appearing Barney mouth some orders which we assume directs the still-engaged youth of today to dis-engage, dress, and cum hither. And then the cop goes back down the ladder!! See what I mean? A REAL cop would have closely supervised you know.

So the story ends as the young fuckers dress, descend the ladder, assume the (different) position, are handcuffed (not in the manner I suspect they prefer), and are hauled off. No doubt the biggest bust (so to speak) Barney will have in his career.

Had we thought of it, we agreed that we would have posted their scores on our windows for their edification. Technical Merit: 9.8 (dude had some staying power). Showmanship: 9.9 (for obvious reasons, but a tenth of a point deducted since she never removed her top). Degree of Difficulty: only a 7.5 since they only performed in the missionary position – a point I did bring out in their favor to our work evangelist (on her fourth trip) to no avail.

Pretty expensive piece of ass I suspect. We heard later in the day they were charged with trespassing and lewd conduct.

No problem. We’re taking up a collection to pay their fines.