You want answers? You got’em…

James Ensor asked for answers and since I wasn’t doing much… I was in the mood to provide them.

Here they are…

1. Do you ever think about hopping through the snow on one foot in order to fuck with whomever sees your footprints?

I’ve never hopped on one foot, but what I have done it walked halfway into a clear snowy field and then backed out using my own foot prints. That way when someone see it, it looks like someone vanished into the middle of this field and vanished into thin air. That’s funny…

2. When CBS decided they would recast Sherlock’s best pal and confidante as a woman, do you think they considered Emma Watson for the role?

First off, I’m going to make a bold statement: BBC’s Sherlock is the most brilliant show on television right now. I’ve loved every episode and can’t wait for series three to start.

What many people don’t know is that CBS first asked BBC for permission to make a Sherlock clone, kind of like how clones have been made of other British shows like Queer As Folk and Being Human. When BBC refused to give them the rights to do it, this is when CBS started making ‘Elementary’ on their own. Moffat and the BBC have already stated they will file legal action if this show resembles Sherlock in any way… which I think is gonna happen. This will go to court.

I will admit that I am a little curious about Elementary. The cast looks rather solid and I’m a huge fan of Johnny Lee Miller. Lucy Lui is an interesting choice for Watson, but I doubt show will ever be half as brilliant as Sherlock. What makes Sherlock so amazing is that less is more, when you try to expand this concept to 22 episodes a season, it will thin out and the quality will be subpar at best. I’m not expecting much out of Elementary, and wait eagler for the next season of Sherlock.

I feel for Johnny Lee Miller, because Cumberbach has set the bar very, very high with his portrayal of Sherlock Holmes which has so far put Robert Downey Jr. to shame the last few years. Sherlock has made the Guy Richie movies look like Hollywood action films rather than serious attempts to portray the legendary character. This is why I don’t think Elementary is going to workvery well, the bar is just too high. Sherlock is going to make CBS’s clone look like the cheap knock off that it is when series three comes out, guaranteed.

To answer the question, I don’t care about them casting a woman to play Watson, as long as she and Sherlock don’t hook up… that would be a tad awkward. It worked for Battlestar to cast a woman for Starbuck, so I will reserve judgement until I see how Watson as a woman works before posting anything about it.

3. If your only real talent is to open Oreos perfectly, would you consider that a victory or a failing?

Since I don’t like Oreos, I would consider that a failure and a waste of life.

4. Why aren’t tridents more popular as eating implements?

Many people associate tridents as a weapon more than a eating utensil.

The Trident is however a badass weapon. Clearly one of the most underrated as it’s been used a few times in some big movies:

Most people think of greek mythology when the think of this weapon. Many people as think of the Devil and his pitchfork, which could be another reason why people don’t use it that much as it’s associated with evil and satan in Christian circles.

5. Should they sell alcohol in the makeup aisle because it makes people look more attractive?

It’s a very good question, but I think the answer should be no. While it does help make others look more attractive, it’s still something that people consume and should always be put into the grocery secion.

6. Is the wave of the future the wave of the future?

Nope, it was a tiny wave and it never really made that much of an impact on the shore. Very disappointed here…

7. I’m classier than most Jedi, so can I have a lightrapier?

A Light-Rapier would be a kickass idea. I actually to prefer a rapier over the sword, so that would be right up my alley. I used to do fencing when I was in University and we used rapiers and daggers, it was completely badass…

As an English Major and a fencer, things don’t get cooler than that. If you haven’t seen that movie (Last year’s Three Musketeers), it’s was fantastic! My new guilty pleasure cause I should hate it but it’s so much fun I watch it all the time when I’m bored. Despite it’s cheesiness it’s still ten times better than the Star Wars Prequels…

8. Is it okay if she hogs the covers because she brings two nice pillows with her?

Very wise observation, but I get around that by having a spare blanket int he closet just in case. That way if she wraps herself into cacoon like state, I will have something for myself. Just not worth the effort to try to get any back…

9. Did the red color of Rudolph’s nose actually help guide them, or would another color have been more effective?

I’m not sure, maybe it was sonar kinda like Daredevil?

10. Why do we wish sweet dreams for each other? I mean, you can’t taste dreams. Why don’t we start wishing each other financially stable dreams, or awesome Thursday dreams, or rockin’ threesome dreams?

When we say sweet dreams, we are using the word sweet as to describe something that is emotionally sweet as in loving and happy. But I do like your other suggestions… they should be used often as well.

11. How many first-date farts are too many?

One first date fart is too many. You do not fart in front of someone of the opposite sex unless you know they’re the one. Ever.