Monday School: Eggs Benedict Checks Out!

Welcome to Monday School! Your badly needed fix for “The Rational Corrective To All That Nonsense They Tried To Teach You Yesterday!”

Today I’m going to talk about people who can’t seem to commit to jobs they though they were ordained by God to do, and then up and quit. No, this is not an entry about Sarah Palin. Instead I am finally going to comment and post some interesting things about the recently announced retirement of one Pope ‘Eggs’ Benedict. Now I for one have found the short reign of Eggs to be challenging, contraversal and too much fun to watch walk out the door… but walking out is exactly what he’s doing.

For the first time in almost five centuries, the Pope is handing in his silk robes and golden throne. Eggs claims this is because of health issues, stating that he doesn’t have what it takes to keep leading the church into the 21st Century. Apparently praying for strength like the previous Popes did isn’t enough for Eggs to want to keep his lucritive deal. You’d think the private plane, gold trinkets and killer medical benefits would do it too. Apparently not, Eggs wants out.

When Eggs first announced his pre-death retirement, many people were shocked from devout followers to people who just enjoyed making Sith jokes about him. There are other mediums that were quick to point out there could be other Circumstances that might have pushed Eggs to step down from his golden throne prematurely. There are plenty of theories going around concering that aubject.

A few days after announcing the end of his reign, reports started to filter out that Benedict was going to remain a resident in the Vatican to evade criminal prosecition. This has caused some to think that crimes Eggs might be charged for could be the real reason why he chose to step down, to prevent that Vatican from going through another scandal. It’s an interesting suggestion but there is no evidence to suggest that. The fact that he’s staying in Rome to avoid being charged with anything does however leave some scratching their heads, wondering what charges could possibly be waiting.

Then last week there was another report that attempted to shed light on the first resignation of a Pope in centuries. There was a report put forth by Italian newspapers that stated that Eggs was under the influence of a secretive “gay lobby” within the vatican itself. I’ll be the first to admit this sounds a little out there, but a story that seems to have had legs over the last week or so. The most shocking part of this story is that the Church has neither comfirmed nor denied the reports of gay activity within the Vatican.

Regardless of the real reasons for his stepping down, just the fact that the alleged leader of God’s Church seems to smack in the face of the religion itself. If Eggs Benedict was truly chosen by God to lead the church, his quitting would suggest a defiance to what his own God wants. It’s almost as if Eggs himself doesn’t care what his God thinks and is resigning because he feels like it. It’s almost the same as the joke atheists make about the Pope’s bulletproof car. If the almighty is on your side and has a grand plan, what is the point of having a bulletproof car? The same goes for a Pope stepping down, which is why it hasn’t happened in hundreds of years. Why would you step down from a job that was allegedly ordained by God? Turns out like the church itself, Egg’s hypocrisy knows no bounds.

One this is for sure, what we’re being told is merely the tip of the iceberg. One doens’t simply step down from such a powerful position like this without being pushed. Countless Popes refused to do it and died while on the job. Why Benedict wants to quit has shocked many and forced others to doubt his simple explaination. He’s in much, much beter health then what Pope John Paul was in his final years, which leans other to suspect something else is going on.

While some are still scratching their heads to grasp the why, there are others who prefer to move forward and hope that the church makes a much wiser choice this time around. These are the same people who were hoping for a little chance before Eggs came into the picture. The Vatican refused to make a change back then, forgive me if I don’t think they’ll make any effor this time. When the next pope is selected mere months from now, it’s just going to be the same old, same old. Like ‘The Who’ states in one of their best songs “meet the new boss… same as the old boss”.

I guess the old saying really is true, the more things seem to change the more they really stay the same. Forgive me if I don’t expect a corrupt organization to change it’s stripes… ever.

Peter