An entry about family… kinda

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns

Today I am going to take the time to post an entry about the status of my family. Right now I’ll be the first to admit that at this moment, I’m not talking to many members of my own family right now. Hardly any of them at all actually. I guess some of that might be my fault for being so busy, but no one is exactly leaving messages on the phone or beating my door down either. Right now the only person I am speaking with on a consistant basis is my older brother Chris. He and I have had our issues but no matter what happens, we can’t stay mad at one another and get over whever is bugging us really quickly. Chris and I actually meet up at least every Sunday morning to do our grocery shopping, so we have a good set routine and time to catch up and interact. As for the rest of my family, that’s a little up in the air.

I am pleased to say that relations with my younger brother Matthew have improved a great deal since the last time I wrote about it here. We are talking on the phone a lot and those talks have been very pleasant and friendly. I’m not trying to rush things and have taken my time working things out wth the little bro. I have taken the time to invite him to the house for Ethan’s Birthday and even for Christmas Dinner if he didn’t have any plans this year. Chances are he will not be available for either, but I didn’t want the reason why he didn’t show was because I didn’t invite him. I let him know my door is open and he’s free to drop in at any time. My brother is a good guy, and despite our recent issues I love the guy and will do anything to help him out if I could. Ditto for the other older bro as well… within reason of course.

One major thing that has happened with my litle brother that I should update you on concerns his marriage. After almost seven years of marriage, my little brother Matt moved out and seperated from his wife. A lot of family members literally popped the champange when that little nugget of information went around, but I really didn’t feel like celebrating. I didn’t want something like this to happen, and genuinely felt for them both. They have a beautiful little girl together, and neither of them are what I could call bad people. I’ve never been Becca’s biggest advocate, but I was never her biggest enemy either. Truth is I have a lot of respect for my sister in law. She’s a good and dedicated mother, a hard worker and I never wished anything bad to happen to her. If she were to show up at my door tomorrow and ask for my help, she’d have it without question or conditions. I’ve forgiven Chris for far, far worse than the stuff that have come between Becca and I… so to not put all that aside for someone who I still consider family would be unfair and rude. Regardless of our differeneces, I always wished her and her family the best and never wanted anything bad to happen to them. Truth is I regret not making a better effort to be nicer to her and treat her with the respect and love that she deserved. As someone who has had to deal with bad in-laws… I never wanted to be that person, but I was. Words cannot express how sorry I am and I hope one day I’ll have a moment to let her know.

Then there are my Parents in Tennessee. Things are not so good on that front. To put it bluntly… I haven’t talked to either my Mom or Dad since July. Over two months and not one word. Something big happened over the summer, and while I’m not going to get into the niddy griddy about it, I’ll give a coles notes version. In early July, my Mom and Dad had a temporary split from one another. Mom showed up at my door and I of course welcomed her in and let her stay with us. We had the room and she was going to visit later that month anyway, so no problem. Things were a little uneasy between everyone, cause there were a lot of people who are used to being in charge, which resulted in a few clashes. But cooler heads would prevail and things were all right for most of that month.

Now what I am about to write, I have not told a single person, not even my wife. I began to get worried the longer my Mom stayed at the house. Don’t get me wrong, I love her a lot but was beginning to get concerned over how comfy she was being away from my Dad and vice versa. In my eyes, this separation was suddenly growing into something that could be permanent. That really didn’t gel too well with me one single bit. I wasn’t going to stand by and watch over thirty years of marriage go down the tubes… well, not without a fight at least. So… I hatched a plan that wouldn’t force them back together, but at least force them to evaluate what had happened and what they really feel. I was hoping that kind of talk would work the way I wanted it too, but there were no guarantees.

The plan was simply this: I was going to wait for my Mom to pick on me and strike. You know how mothers are, they’ll find something they don’t like and nag you about it. I even excelerated the odds of a good nagging by intentionally ignoring my chores and getting really lazy. I left dishes in the sink, never picked up the toys and really let things build up. One of them was eventually going to get on my back about it, I was just hoping Mom would do it first and not my wife. Finally after two days, my Mom had had enough and called me out and tore me down for being a lazy prick. Bingo, phase one complete and we have a confrontation. I’m a pretty decent actor, so the next part was easy. I flipped out. My wife wasn’t there, so I really, really flipped out. Nuclear would be a good word to decribe how through the roof I made myself go. I want off about how it was my house, I rule the roost here, my rules under my roof and all that crap. I really freaked out and worked it for all it was worth. Then I made my big move, I tossed Mom and all her luggage out of my house in a fit of rage and anger. Yeah, I tossed my own mother to the curb, what an asshole!

Now before everyone starts leaving nasty notes on my diary, I have several cousins, aunts and uncles that live here in the same city. My Mom had plenty of emergancy options, and was not going to be left on the street alone. She took a spare room with one of my cousins and was all right. Everyone else was furious with me, and didn’t hesitate to let me know about it. I didn’t really blame them for it, I had done something really cruel and deserved every harsh word I got and took it like a champ. Yet the one thing that I wanted to see happen occurred later that night. My Mom and Dad had a long talk, really hashed out what was going on, and forgave one another. Two days later, my Mom drove back to Tennessee and everything down there is back to normal. Now they both hate my guts with a burning fury, but they are hating me ‘together’… so I’m very cool with that. In baseball, this is what we call ‘taking one for the team’. Sure they hate my fucking guts, but I don’t care. They’ll get over it… they have to. It’s been two months and I’m kinda curious to see how long they’ll be silent. They’re talking to Leah, but not me. I never asked Leah to take sides, not when most of it is bullshit to begin with.

So that’s where I stand with my immediate family. After what happened to Mom, that could explain the dead silence I am getting from everyone in the tri-state area… but that was to be expected. There is word of a family reunion taking place next year in New Orleans. A large branch of my family resides in Lousiana, so they want to host the next reunion and I’ve never been there so it seems like a great idea for a vacation. You know, see the place before the next big hurricaine wipes it off the map for good. I’m hoping that if my family does make the trip to the big easy I can meet up with and mend some bridges. Everyone should be cooled down enough by then… I hope. Until then, they can all build a bridge and get over it, cause I’m not losing any sleep.

Peter