A response from the Nameless Canuck

I was going to say nothing and ‘let it go’ which some people here had asked I do but at the moment that seems impossible given the shots I am currently taking. What bothers me the most is that many people taking the pots shots from the cheap seats are doing so without all the details. I’ve tried to provide some of them with the full details of what happened in an attempt to give them the whole story. Yet those notes have been ignored and they’ve stuck to their own story of what they thought happened, which is the last thing I thought someone like that would do. Some of these details are private but if it clears the air and gets everyone on the same page, I guess that’s what I’m going to have to do to make everyone perfectly clear to where I stand and why I made certain decisions to do what I did.

First let’s start with the first person who got booted from the site last week. By her own confession, the reason for it was because she created a diary that was based on my wife. She made this diary and started posting entries, pretending to be here solely for the purpose of mockery and having fun at my expense. That alone was enough to anger me to no end… but it got much worse. In some of these entries, it was suggested that I conducted acts that are not in compliance with the Criminal Code of Canada. Ladies and gentlemen, if someone makes a public accusation that you are committing a crime without any proof of such activity that is libel and defamation of character. Not only was this diary in violation of the site’s rules, it was in violation of the law. That’s a very serious charge, and is there a single person here on this site that wouldn’t have written to Open Diary to ask that these false accusations be taken down? For that reason and for the other obvious reason that I didn’t appreciate someone strutting around OD impersonating my wife, I filed charge with the OD Staff to act on this issue.

Now at the time when I filed my complaint, I had suspected who might be responsible for what was going on. The writing style looked very familiar and what not… but I had zero evidence to back up my claim. Because of this absence of evidence, I made zero mention of that person when I made my complaint to Open Diary. My only request was for that one diary to be taken down, nothing else. Any other diaries taken down after that was the sole discretion of Open Diary, who obviously found enough evidence of their own to take action. Needless to say, I was very impressed with the speed that Open Diary took to resolve this issue. No one should have to put up with the harassment and defamation that I had to take from this one person and that was the sole reason for her dismissal. Everyone is running around saying it was for not citing sources (though that likely didn’t help…) I honestly think this was the straw that broke the camel’s back and forced the DM/Staff to finally act.

Now let’s move on to the second person who is upset about getting booted because of a complaint I filed. Without naming names, he was no angel and was very vocal for what he believed in. Nothing wrong with that but at times he was very abusive to many Open Diary members. I would not be surprised if my letter was not the first complaint against him, but the reason for my filing of it was quite simple: the politics circle. It’s one thing to bash me in a note, or even in an entry… people do that all the time and much worse and I’ve never filed a complaint against them. Hell, I’ve had someone threaten to put me in a barrel, roll me down a hill and shoot at me with a rifle while I go down. People have been posting a lot of harsh notes accusing me of not having a thick skin and being unable to handle feedback. This is absolutely false. I’ve taken a lot of harsh notes in the time I’ve been here on Open Diary. I’ve taken spam attacks, note bombs and even death threats so the mere suggestion is preposterous. I’ve put up with a lot of interesting stuff during my years here on OD, but I took offence to what this one person did because he used the politics circle for one simple reason: public humiliation.

What he did crossed the line because that was an act of absolute anger with explicit malevolence. It was not just his words that offended me, but his actions and his intentions. Yes, other diary members are right when they say I am just passionate when defending my views… but I have never posted an entry solely for the purpose of bashing someone, and if I ever did I would never post that in a circle for the sole purpose of embarrassing them in front of the whole site. Those kinds of tactics are distasteful and clearly out of line and that is why I contacted Open Diary about it. They agreed with me and made a request/warning for the person in question to remove the entry in question. To me that was more than appropriate given the situation. He was asked to delete or make the entry in question private. Rather than follow the request of the staff, this person chose to run around and note everyone’s diary about how I ‘ratted him out to the OD police’ and told everyone that his diary would soon disappear. When I read that it dawned on me that he was refusing to remove the entry, and was defying the staff of the site. I got an email from the OD Staff a short while later, stating that because he had willfully ignored OD’s request his diary was suspended. The letter also said the matter is pending a review from the DM.

Technically, both diaries are pending a review from the DM. While I recommend people not hold their breath for the first person who was removed for creating the diary that committed Libel, there is still hope that the second will be restored, given that a compromise can be made. Chances are he is still going to be asked to remove the entry, and if that can be done… I would fully support the return of his diary. I said as much in a letter to OD staff the day his diary was suspended. So for those who are blowing this suspension out of proportion, here are the facts: he was asked to take the entry down. He refused and therefore was suspended. This is not a case of Open Diary cracking down on only one group of people; they treat all diaries equally and without prejudice.

To prove that, I provide a very good example of someone who was also asked to take down an entry that was too much for OD: me. I was asked last week to do away with an entry that OD Staff wanted either deleted or made private. I was given the exact same options that the second diary was given. Rather than refuse to work with OD Staff, I immediately acted in accordance with their request and did as I was told. So those who are making the accusations that I don’t play by the rules either are also incorrect. I abide by the same rules and am not above taking down entries when they are deemed inappropriate by site staff. So the fact that I was asked to do the same proves that the OD Staff are not out to get a certain group on the Politics Circle and censor people… that is a load of hogwash. When this person was asked by OD Staff to take down that one entry, he was being asked to abide by the same rules that I abide by myself and nothing more. He refused, and thus was suspended.

So what I need to emphasize is that this talk about Open Diary being anti-free speech is completely absurd, because their entries and content of them was not the reason for their discharge. Ifthat was the case their diaries (and a lot of other diaries) would have been removed a long, long, long time ago. If they want to face the people who are responsible for their eviction from Open Diary, all they have to do is consult a mirror. They knew when they posted these entries that someone could call them on it and they knew the consequences. To get upset at me for calling them on it is unfair because we should all be held accountable to the rules. Some people around here act as if they are above those rules, assuming that nothing will happen them as they took advantage of everyone else’s good nature to not tell.

I had just cause to voice my concerns to Open Diary on both occasions, and it was up to them to decide if my claims were valid or not. I will not apologize for voicing my opinion to Open Diary and asking them to help me combat what were unmistakable and very open attacks on my character. I had every right to do what I did, so for people to call me a coward and thin skinned for doing so is inappropriate and out of touch with reality. Some have even suggested that I should have tried to talk to these people to try to resolve the issue without going to Open Diary. If you really think that was possible, then you don’t know the two diary members we are talking about. If they were not willing to listen or speak with Open Diary’s Staff, what makes you think they would have heard me out?

Now that brings me to the newest twist in this never ending saga: The heartfelt apology from the first diary member. This is the member who created the diary about my wife and made the slanderous comments about myself in them. In this entry, the person admitting to doing this, and made an attempt to apologize for what she had done, and thus won the hearts of many people on OD for her attempt to take ‘the high road’. I’ll be the first to admit it was a good try, especially for her. I actually thought it was authentic, right up to the point where she called me a dickhead. She then goes on to accuse me of being the instigator of other people’s anger. Okay, so her idea of apologizing for slander and defamation of character is to insult me and accuse me of doing things she has zero evidence of. Bravo, nice job. If you’re trying to make amends, you don’t call someone names. If you are sincere about trying to build bridges, you don’t use the entry to try to save someone else who has been booted from the site for other reasons, and accuse the person you are apologizing to of being a rat. If you are telling someone what not to do you’re not apologizing, you’re lecturing and that sucks the legitimacy right out of your act of contrition. So for that reason and the fact that your entry had ulterior motives, I do not accept your apology.

Another reason why I don’t accept it is because you forgot to mention someone else who also deserves an apology would be the person whose persona you falsely took and smeared: my wife Leah. She has never said a bad thing to your or about you and for your to do that to her is inexcusable. I have had my rivalries, my beefs and even my battles here on Open Diary… but never in my time has anyone ever dragged my family into the mix, except you. I cannot convey to you how hurt she was upon discovering the existance of this diary, and the contents of it. It’s one thing to throw your barbs at me, but towards someone you don’t know or have never met that has never done anything to you is a new low, maybe the lowest you have ever gone and nary a mention of her in your apology for mocking her.

But if you want my forgiveness, it will take more than words to get it. The reason why I refuse to give it to you is because I don’t believe you have changed at all. The notes you have posted since making ‘your apology’ indicate you are still as spiteful as ever. But I am willing to offer you a chance, just one chance to prove yourself. Change your ways and make a genuine effort to be respectful to everyone, and forgiveness is yours and I will move on. Stop spamming the Politics Circle with cut & pasted articles that you didn’t write, and actually enlighten us with your own words. You proved to us what we all long suspected with your attempted apology: you are more than capable of penning something good. You don’t need to take someone else’s work, write your own. Try to be respectful of others and everyone will follow your lead (myself included) and the Politics Circle and OD will be a better place for it.

Do something like that, and I’d be willing to forgive and move on. But like I said it’s going to take more than words for me to believe that your intent is genuine. So go ahead, prove me wrong.

Peter