I have been washed up on shore

beaten and battered for three days in a row now, and each morning I keep diving right back into the surf! I’m thinking I’m just as nuts as the kids in my classes are!

I have found out though, that in the short time I have been without teenagers in my care, nothing has changed! I am in charge of three classes. The first class is an honors vertebrate zoology class. This group is pretty good. They know to do their homework and what it is and are mostly quiet and get their work done. A nice way to start the day. That’s not to say they are REALLY quiet and well behaved though! They most definitely have their moments, it’s just that by comparison, they are wonderful!

Now the 2nd and last class of the day are both honors earth science. I’m not really seeing how it’s an honors course since they are mostly spoon fed the information (as the other teacher explained to me. lol) and most of them don’t want to be there and are only there because it’s a requirement to graduate. But anyway, supposedly it’s an honors course. There is actually alot of coloring in this class…really, I’m not kidding! Ok, so they have to identify the muscular system from the skeletal system and color them different colors, but still, it’s coloring. I wonder if this is business as usual or if the teacher is trying to make it easier for me by giving them alot of ‘busy work’.

So coloring is easy, right? Especially for juniors and seniors, right? WRONG! I was walking around checking on everyone’s work, and I come across a few kids who were not coloring in the numbered squares (that would eventually create a map of a ocean basin). Instead they were outlining the section and writing "blue", or dotting the just the center of the block with the right color etc. etc.

Finally I have to ask the class as a whole "Did ya GO to kindergarten guys?" They all looked up at me in surprised and said "Yes, why?" in rather defensive tones. "Well then," I answered, "did ya PASS? Because from here it looks like you all need a refresher course!"

Today these same two classes had a ‘sand lab’. This is a lab where they work in small groups to measure samples of sand, examine it under a microscope and test reactions with simple chemicals and answer questions and put it all on an extremely well laid out simple form. For one hour I heard my name called out in anxiety approximately every two seconds! I, who have not been in a classroom for 30 years and whose background is selling insurance and stocking grocery shelves, could figure out how to fill out this form and what to do. But not these kids! Again, I wondered if they should all go back to kindergarten! LOL!

And I knew when I did it, but I didn’t want the inconvenience later, so I did it anyway. I set up each table of 4 kids with 2 beakers of a tablespoon of vinegar each for their test and you know darn well what happened, don’t you? Yup, I watched it happen too and I didn’t do anything but keep watching. One stupid kid picked up the beaker and sniffed it and yanked his head back with a disgusted look on his face. I was not shocked when he immediately then tasted it!! Yes, the idiot drank some of it! I bet even a kindergartner wouldn’t have done that! LOL! So I had to call attention and announce to the class that they are NOT to drink the vinegar, it’s for the experiment! A few kids looked at me like I was crazy so I informed them it just happened so I am only making sure it doesn’t happen again. Then I walked over to the kid that drank it, patted him on the back and said "Yup, here’s your sign!"  in my best Blue Collar Comedy voice. The kids all cracked up and the idiot turned red but enjoyed the razzing.

I really don’t know what the heck I’m doing yet, and I have had a few bad moments, but for the most part, it’s fun. Plus I just keep reminding myself that no matter how bad it gets, it’s ALWAYS almost over since classes are only 90 minutes long! LOL! But today was a long day and the last class was finished their work and getting loud visiting and waiting for the bell. Finally I had to shush them by telling them I had something important to announce. They got quiet and looked at me expectantly as I said "Listen, you gotta be quiet because I really need to get rid of you guys and I can’t hear the bell if it rings!" LOLOL!