Warning About Fireworks

For some strange reason where I live, it’s legal to have fireworks during the 4th Of July festivities.  I don’t know who the genius was behind this stroke of brilliance, but I’m not really comfortable with it.  I have this fear that someone stupid will get a hold of a firecracker, book of matches, or some other source of fire and then end up burning something down, namely something I own.  Being a pyromaniac isn’t funny and it’s not cool.  Playing with firecrackers isn’t cool either.  Burning someone else’s house down are grounds for immediate retaliation.  I’m talking rage-filled and violent beatdown kind of retaliation, where skulls and other bones stand to be broken.  I don’t want anything I own burning down because of somebody else’s negligence or stupidity.  I wish they would just leave the firecracker stuff to the professionals, or at least to those individuals who know what the hell they’re doing.  I guess if you’re going to play with firecrackers and what-not, do it on your own property.  By all means, feel free to burn down anything YOU own.  Should it be the case that you end up accidentally torching your own shit, at least the flames and subsequent conflagration will be confined to your immediate living space and no one else’s.  Let me stand back and laugh as you watch your stuff become consumed by fire, because you thought it would be fun to play with firecrackers.  I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit back and allow you to burn my stuff alongside yours.  If anything I own gets burned, believe that we’re going to be fighting and I’m not the violent type either.  Call me unreasonable but I’ve got this thing about having my stuff getting burned by a fire that should’ve never been started in the first place.  I don’t know.  I’m just funny like that, I guess.

Feel free to celebrate the 4th Of July and everything.  I just ask that you not mess around with fireworks even if they are legal in your area.  If you’re going to be retarded and mess around with fireworks anyway, please do so as far away from me and anything I own.  The last thing I’m going to want to do on Independence Day is get into a scuffle with someone who damaged something I own.  We can all get along and I’m cool with you, so long as you aren’t playing with fire and other flammables.  The moment something of mine gets burned or damaged, my animal instinct will probably kick in and you will be facing a major beatdown.