The Beginning Of Her End

Six years ago today, Mom took her turn for the worst.  I think she was already in a hospital, after having been transferred there from the wound care center where she had spent the previous few weeks.  I wasn’t there as Mom started her deterioration.  My sister was and she, I guess, got to see it all firsthand.

Mom started to experience random bouts of unconsciousness that day, which for her, and I suppose for most people, would be unusual.  I guess as that week progressed, Mom would be unconscious for progressively longer and longer periods, to where it was puzzling, but also alarming for my sister to see.

Still, Mom always came to and encompassed some form of normalcy, at least on the outside.  Now, on the inside, we couldn’t see what was going on, but Mom had to be feeling something because she started to make weird statements.  The weirdest of these statements (I don’t know any of the other ones) was when she started to constantly tell Papa Visionary that she could feel inside that she was dying.

I can only imagine what that feels like, to somehow know and sense that you are dying.  She apparently knew that it was happening, because she would constantly tell Dad that.  I can’t readily say what was going on in her head, but it couldn’t have been good.  She somehow knew she was dying and she felt compelled to tell Dad that over and over again.

I guess as that day and the following day came and went, her condition got worse.  It just wasn’t readily visible though.  As I said earlier, on the inside, everything was taking place.  She was dying and she knew it.  She told Dad that repeatedly.  Indirectly, she was telling my sister that too.

So, as for the musical selection above, this was my introduction to The Eagles.  This was the first song by The Eagles that Mom had introduced me to.  Actually, I think it’s the only Eagles song she introduced me to.  I have always loved this song and I’ll be honest.  At first, I thought that lead singer Timothy B. Schmit sounded like a woman.  It didn’t matter though, being that I loved the song anyway.  Years later, I would discover other Eagles songs, but in the end, this one became my go-to.  I don’t even know if Mo liked any of those other Eagles songs, but I know that she loved this song.  As a kid, I didn’t listen to the lyrics for content.  I just knew that it sounded good and I eventually learned all of the words to where I could sing along with the entire song.

While I listen to the song all year long, I find myself listening to it just a little bit more during this week.  As for the video above, the song finally starts at the 1:42 mark.

I can’t tell you why, but maybe, it makes me think about Mom a little more than I usually do.