That’s Called Theft, Dumbass

People are inherently stupid. I know that’s not necessarily a fair assessment of the current human population that roams the earth. Having said that, allow me to clarify that.

People who work in my office are inherently stupid.

Not all of them, I suppose, but apparently enough of them to make me reconsider just who I talk to during my workday.

For the past few years around the holidays, the office has an Ornament Exchange going on. This year, it runs from 12/04/24 through 12/19/24. I’m identifying the game by a proper noun and referring to it as the “Ornament Exchange”. The game’s title features two words and I want to say that those two words are more than enough to explain what it is and maybe even what the game entails.

Allow me to explain the concept, using a few more words and sentences.

For those who wish to participate, participants are asked to display a Christmas ornament, preferably one that is valued at, at least five dollars, along the side of their cubicles. Most folks tend to use those temporary hooks to hang their ornaments. Participants are allowed to take any ornament that they choose and exchange it with the one at their cubicle. There is no limit to how many times these exchanges can occur. There is also a rule that there is no hiding of ornaments. As you can imagine, some of the more popular ornaments can exchange hands and cubicles many times throughout the course of the two weeks that the game is active.

I guess towards the end of the last days and even the final hours on the last day, things can get pretty heated. I’ve never seen fights break out, but I will say that the majority of the exchanges take place within those last few hours, even more so during the final half hour.

It’s all intended to be in good fun. So long as people follow the rules and have an understanding as to how the game is played, then it can be a good time for all.

Prior to this year, no one had ever fucked this up and the game always ran smoothly. Enter 2024.

Apparently, I now work with complete morons.

For two consecutive days, the following e-mail had to be sent out to the entire office:

Good morning,

As a reminder, if you remove an ornament, you must exchange it with yours. Please do not remove an ornament without replacing it with another.

Thank you

I guess there were complaints that some people were taking ornaments, rather than exchanging them. That’s called theft and clearly, that kind of shit violates the rules of the game. People are fucking retarded. It’s not a hard concept to grasp, but yet, here we are.

Now, given my boycott of anything holiday-themed and holiday-related this year, I wasn’t participating in this year’s Ornament Exchange anyway, but seeing that people are essentially cheating, now I know I’m not going to bother.

I had played in previous years and I would even make it a point to get a nice ornament, one that I believed that people would want to take. I figure that I’m doing well enough financially, to where paying 10 to 20 bucks for an ornament wouldn’t cause me any undue stress. I figure it would make the game more lively with a nice ornament in play.

In 2024, I have no regrets not playing and I’m not going to now. Earlier in the week, I had briefly considered playing too. The only rule I was going to impose was that under no circumstance would I buy any kind of Disney-themed ornament. That meant no Mickey, Minnie, Stitch, or even Donald (my personal favorite).

Without a doubt, I still despise Disney.

I also hate that people are too stupid to play the Ornament Exchange by the damn rules.

Yes, people are stupid, especially in the office where I work.